Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
As professor emeritus of The Cape Academy, Billy Porter will tell you, the #1 rule of Cape Academy is “rock the cape, don’t let the cape rock you“. Unfortunately, young Olly Alexander of the synth-pop band Years & Years is going to have to repeat Finding A Cape That Fits 101 next semester because he was practically swimming in his. It looks like he was going for Adam Rippon meets King George but landed on something that one of Siegfried and Roy’s big cats might have horked up after being fed an emu.
Either 78 percent of British women are pregnant, or they’ve instituted post WWII style rationing on fabric and the ladies are doing their level best to stay calm and carry on by re-purposing their bed sheets as gowns. Also curtains, as we see Paloma Faith has done here, rocking peach colored drapes. There were a lot of baby bumps on the red carpet and a lot of voluminous draping that Georgina Chapman might call “unresolved“. I couldn’t tell who was knocked up, and who had just decided to be super comfy for the night. Congratulations in either case, I guess.
Madison Beer clearly doesn’t belong in either category. She’s wearing the Leg Avenue “Sexy Knight In Shining Armor” costume and she’s ready for her close-up, Mr. Demille (and by close up I mean X-Ray, she won’t be needing that lead apron, thank you very much). I’m actually kind of in love with this look, but I’m not enjoying picturing what her backside is going to look like if she sits down. While this look may appear impractical at first glance, think about how useful she’d be as a server in an Italian restaurant carrying around a wedge of Parmesan.
Please enjoy, as I’m sure you will, some of the other standout looks of the night in the gallery below.