Category: Ed Sheeran

Sam Smith Received A 6-Foot Tall, 2-Ton Marble Penis Statue As A Gift From Ed Sheeran

October 12, 2022 / Posted by:

If you’re friends with Ed Sheeran, it seems like an unsolicited dick statue may be the new unsolicited dick pic. I’m just going to pretend that Ed’s chums got sick of opening his texts only to find his fiery bush and limp fuck parts, so it was time for him to start thinking outside of the box, which led to this brilliant idea: Ed is known among his friends and acquaintances for having big, hard dicks delivered right to their doorsteps, with Sam Smith being the proud new owner of one of the biggest schlong statues yet.

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After His New Album Went #1, Ed Sheeran Says That Many Of His Fellow Pop Stars “Actively Want Me To Fail”

November 10, 2021 / Posted by:

Who knew that Ed Sheeran was the It-girl of the male pop-star community and that the haters all want to see his destruction? At least, that seems to be what Ed thinks. While on the Halfcast podcast, Ed said that he’s heard some of his fellow pop stars punch the air whenever he has a hit and are thirsty to see his demise. But well, the joke’s on Ed’s haters, because as long as doctor’s waiting rooms exist, Ed Sheeran’s music will reign alongside Adele’s.

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Ed Sheeran Thought He Was Gay For Liking Britney Spears And Musical Theater

November 1, 2021 / Posted by:

When he was younger, Ed Sheeran thought he could be gay. Did he envision making out with the captain of the football team, or picture going to prom with THEE school sk8er boi hottie with the floppy hair and Converse sneakers? No, none of that. But he did like Britney Spears’ music and musical theater. “But could he draw in the third grade?!,” asked Mackelmore.

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Ed Sheeran Tested Positive For Coronavirus And Now “Saturday Night Live” Is Reportedly “Scrambling” To Replace Him As Musical Guest

October 25, 2021 / Posted by:

Ed Sheeran is supposed to be the musical guest on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, but that’s probably not going to happen. Because 30-year-old Ed caught COVID-19 and now he’s holed up in quarantine. Well, I guess it’s better to be dropped as the SNL musical guest over coronavirus than the N-word leaping out of your mouth.

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Ed Sheeran’s Manager Confirms That Princess Beatrice Accidentally Slashed His Face With A Sword In 2016

October 7, 2020 / Posted by:

A few years ago, Ed Sheeran, the man who cursed us with the 2017-ruining song “Shape of You”, allegedly got sliced in the face by a drunken, sword-wielding Princess Beatrice. He never confirmed the story, and, at one point, 2004’s James Blunt suggested it was just a joke. But, in a new interview with the Telegraph, Ed’s longtime manager, Stuart Camp, is finally talking about the incident, calling Princess Beatrice a “fucking idiot”.

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Ed Sheeran And His Wife, Cherry Seaborn, Welcomed A Baby Daughter They Named Lyra Antarctica

September 1, 2020 / Posted by:

29-year-old Ed Sheeran and 28-year-old Cherry Seaborn, who got hitched two Decembers ago a few days before Christmas, are now parents to a brand new baby girl. They have decided to name her Lyra Antarctica. Well, the way global warming is going, Lyra may be the last Antarctica standing. So it was nice of them to pay homage.

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