Suki Waterhouse is taking us way, way back to 2015 with her upcoming debut album, I Can’t Let Go. Yes, you read that correctly. Suki Waterhouse is making the official transition from model-slash-actress to model-slash-actress-slash-attempted singer. And it feels like she’s doing it with a little help from her former boyfriend Bradley Cooper. Remember when those two were a thing? Suki remembers, and if the lyrics to her debut single are any indication, she refuses to forget the time Bradley Cooper allegedly broke her heart into a million tiny pieces and wiped his shoe on the shards. Suki also added a little fuel to the rumor fire by posting a TikTok about the song while wearing a filter that made her look just a little bit too much like a certain someone with a history of heartbreaking.
Suki Waterhouse Is Pissed At The “Gossip Girl” Reboot For Calling Her Robert Pattinson’s “Nobody” Girlfriend
If you looked at the name Suki Waterhouse above, you may have thought to yourself, “Those Gossip Girl bitches better watch out because she’s got powers and shit and has taken down mega-powerful vampires.” Well, I need to tell you that’s Sookie Stackhouse you’re thinking of! You may have responded to that with, “Okay, well, those Gossip Girl tricks better watch out because I’ve seen her brawl on Jersey Shore.” That’s Snooki! And you may have responded to that with, “Oh, okay, um, well, those Gossip Girl dick wipes better watch out because she’s a major accounting firm with billions of dollars and can sue them broke!” That’s PricewaterhouseCoopers! We’re talking about Suki Waterhouse the actress who has been in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Assassination Nation, and Detective Pikachu. Or you may remember her as Bradley Cooper’s one-time young pap partner who he read Lolita to in the park. But I’m guessing you won’t find Gossip Girl on Suki’s resume anytime soon because she spat at the reboot and pretty much called them sexist for calling her a “nobody” in a line about her and her boyfriend of around three years Robert Pattinson. Whatever the opposite of “xoxo” is, that’s what Suki feels about Gossip Girl.
If there has ever been a use for the tag “Love In The Time Of Corona,” this is it. Because the clock has barely done any ticking since we learned that Robert Pattinson reportedly tested positive for COVID-19. And now we’re seeing plenty of pictures of Robert and his girlfriend Suki Waterhouse engaging in a mask-wearing make-out session in a London park.
Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
When we last checked in with the personal life of Robert Pattinson, he was reportedly seen sneaking out of Sienna Miller’s apartment. That was mere weeks ago, and whatever happened in that apartment – Scrabble, make-your-own pizza night, fucking – appears to be done for the time being. Because Robert Pattinson was recently seen with a new blonde British person, Suki Waterhouse.
The next time someone complains that Hollywood only makes reboots, sequels, and superhero movies, you can add that they’re also pretty big on current citizen of Hell Charles Manson at the moment as well. Quentin Tarantino has what will probably be the most high-profile one (still currently untitled, but reportedly starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Margot Robbie). Trailing close behind it will be a story about three members of Charles Manson’s family starring Matt Smith and a ghost story movie about Sharon Tate starring Hilary Duff (what even).