People has some news for us Spice Girls-stans! Unfortunately, Spice World 2 has yet to get the full green light, but there’s been a development in the life of one Baby Spice AKA Emma Bunton. The 45-year-old eternal baby got married to her long-time partner, 42-year-old Jade Jones, making her the first baby bride that I’m not upset about.
I’m not saying I made this happen by predictively mentioning Spice World 2 a few days ago, but I’m also not saying that I’m not a powerful psychic who can control reality. The Sun says that the iconic film Spice World, which came out in 1997 and starred the Spice Girls, may finally be getting a sequel for its 25th anniversary. Spice World 2: Spice Galaxy. Spice World 2: More Seasoning. Spicier World. The options are endless!
The Spice Girls movie is a masterpiece, so you would think that Mel C, Geri Halliwell, Victoria Beckham, Mel B, and Emma Bunton would never waste their time attempting to top such a level of celluloid success. But according to The Hollywood Reporter, the Spice Girls are making another movie. Just this time, it will be starring their cartoon likenesses instead.
The Daily Mail is reporting that a Spice Girls reunion world tour was an actual possibility but now all of us 90s gays who never got to see the Spice Girls live will have to just live with it. It seems that after Mel B revealed a secret cooch bumpin’ session with bandmate Geri Horner, shit has hit the fan and our dreams of a world tour are dead and buried along with all of the wind-breaking track pants they forced Mel C to wear all those years.
The Spice Girls are going on a reunion tour that currently only six dates and 80% of the original lineup. Entertainment Tonight says they stopped by the Heart Breakfast radio show this morning (of which Emma Bunton is a co-host) to talk about the tour and drum up some ticket sales, which officially go on sale this weekend. Even though Victoria Beckham has made it very clear she’s not joining them, noted Posh troll Mel B hinted that she might show up.
After what seemed like a year of Mel B saying over and over and over again that the Spice Girls will reunite, it seems that they finally caved and said: “Okay bitch, fine, Jesus–stop visiting me at work, fuck.” Well, all of them except for Posh. Try not to piss in your little black Gucci dress out of shock over that news.