Richard Madden And Brandon Flynn Had Their Arms Around Each Other (GASP!) After Buying “Marijuana Cigarettes” (DOUBLE GASP!)
Thousands of gays, and people who get into Scottish daddy on Yankee twink action, were hospitalized yesterday with severe dehydration after they slobbered gallons of bodily fluids from all their holes after seeing pictures of Panty Creamer Richard Madden (of Bodyguard, Rocketman and Game of Thrones) and Brandon Flynn (of 13 Reasons Why) getting all cozy in Los Angeles over the weekend. Richard and Brandon were papped with their arms around each other after buying “marijuana cigarettes” (REEFER MADNESS!). So of course, many now think that Richard Madden is bi and that he and Brandon are totally doing it, and after they bought those “marijuana cigarettes” (yes, the year is 1966) they went home, got naked, and Richard blew “marijuana cigarette” smoke into Brandon’s b-hole before doing him. Get me a wet vac and a stretcher, because I just slobbered out a lake from that image and I now need medical attention.
Sam Smith talked recently about his issues with his body, and how when he was just 12 years old his parents let him get his chichis lipoed, because tweens are Lucifer’s creations and there’s only so many times you can use the “I ate too many fried shrimps at the Sizzler and have stomach cramps” excuse to get out of P.E. and changing in the locker room. But that was then, and this is now, so Sam Smith is embracing his furry titty bowls and shaking them on Instagram. Bloat and Nair, be damned!
Sam Smith (who doesn’t want to be alone tonight, alone tonight, alone tonight) has just come out as nonbinary and genderqueer. It all went down in an Instagram interview (so, I just learned that’s a thing) on “I Weigh“, which is Jameela Jamil‘s platform on body positivity. Not only did Sam come forward about his relationship to the gender spectrum, but he got deep, like, therapy deep, on his body issues going back to childhood. Including getting lipo on his mammaries as a pre-teen. I told you it was therapy deep!
Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
The George Michael Lite known as Sam Smith was on an innocent boat ride to Catalina Island with Adam Lambert when choppy waters came his way in the form of Michael Jackson fans grabbing him by the tip of his widow’s peak and throwing him into the ocean with the sharks. The man version of Adele (Mandele?) learned that the only thing you have to do to get MJ superfans, including Grammy-winning singer and the original Dorothy in The Wiz Stephanie Mills, to declare you public enemy #1 is to say the words: I don’t like Michael Jackson. Sam Smith better wear an industrial-strength helmet and sunglasses made out of steel whenever he goes outside, because you know the dove lady from Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial is going to send her birds to peck a trick to death.