Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.
The George Michael Lite known as Sam Smith was on an innocent boat ride to Catalina Island with Adam Lambert when choppy waters came his way in the form of Michael Jackson fans grabbing him by the tip of his widow’s peak and throwing him into the ocean with the sharks. The man version of Adele (Mandele?) learned that the only thing you have to do to get MJ superfans, including Grammy-winning singer and the original Dorothy in The Wiz Stephanie Mills, to declare you public enemy #1 is to say the words: I don’t like Michael Jackson. Sam Smith better wear an industrial-strength helmet and sunglasses made out of steel whenever he goes outside, because you know the dove lady from Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial is going to send her birds to peck a trick to death.
Sam Smith may hate Grindr and platters filled with waffles, but it appears he now has reason to use both! Even though Sam has been hot-n-heavy aardvark-kissing up on 13 Reasons Why actor Brandon Flynn for the last few months, it appears they called it quits last week – and one of them has the Instagram deleting to prove it. Continue reading
Some places are sacred food havens. The buffet, for example – no one gets judged at a buffet. Or breakfast. The first meal of the day should be a joyus one, where you eat as many carbs and syrups as possible without the faintest hint of side-eye from someone eating yogurt and granola. The only problem is here is that a woman claims that she was publicly fat shamed on social media by a fellow diner, who just so happened to be Sam Smith.
Nothing sells tabloids in England like transcripts of a wire-tapped phone conversation of the Royal Family or Cheryl Cole breakup rumors (what will her next last name be?!), but the latest round of relationship-on-the-rocks reports may be false…or at least not ready to be announced until some financial settlement is made. Cheryl was rumored to be in “crisis talks” with the father of her baby Liam Payne, and it wasn’t just a crisis of some of the fug fashion he rocks on Instagram. While the word was they were oh-so-close to breaking up, they both arrived to the red carpet of the BRIT Awards tonight in London looking like their usual Mrs. Robinson-and-boytoy selves. Continue reading
The C.I.A. (computer investigation alliance), that secret cabal of internet sleuths who cracked the case of the Melania Trump body double WIDE OPEN, have made an exciting new discovery! Have you ever noticed that you’ve never seen Sam Smith and Adele together in the same room? Didn’t think so. Are you sitting down? A Twitter user has proof that Adele and Sam are actually the person!