Professional Troll Milo Yiannopoulous Reportedly Invoiced Kanye West For $116,000 After Getting Fired From His Presidential Campaign
2024 Presidential hopeful Kanye West may be mentally unhinged, but that never stopped the previous administration from trying to rebrand the White House as the Caucasian Home For The Criminally Insane. However, Kanye’s primary obstacle isn’t the color of his skin, rather, it’s the shallowness of his pockets and the limits of his own imagination. TMZ reports that Kanye imagined his fledgling campaign staff would work for free, however, in reality, Milo Yiannopoulous, one of Kanye’s chief leeches, has invoiced him for $116,000 after getting fired (and/or quitting, depending on who you ask) this week. And here I thought my salad days of political reporting ended in a parking lot in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Suck it, boomers! There’s a new generation of charlatans, hucksters, and utterly deranged lunatics with broken brains ready to throw it all away for a shot at ruining things for the rest of us. USA! USA!
George Clooney Was Doubly Honored At The Kennedy Center Honors When Julia Roberts Came Wearing His Face
Last night some of the biggest stars in Hollywood gathered in New York City to rub elbows with the Washington elite at the 45th annual Kennedy Center Honors. Due to the pandemic and former president Donald Trump’s boycott of the awards, this is the first big gala in five years and the stars came dressed to impress. This year’s honorees included Gladys Knight and all four of the Irish Pips, sometimes referred to as U2, Christian pop singer Amy Grant, Cuban American composer-conductor Tania León (not to be confused with Lydia Tár, totally different lady), and Nespresso dude George Clooney. There were a couple of surprises at the ceremony. For one, Sacha Baron Cohen showed up in character as Borat even though I thought we had decided as a group after 2020’s presidential election that satire was dead. Also, there was Emma Roberts’ aunt, actress Julia Roberts, who is, apparently, strangely obsessed with George Clooney.
After Kanye West appeared in a gimp mask on Alex Jones’s InfoWars yesterday and did the impossible by making Alex look like the most sensible person in the room for once when he outright admitted that he likes Hitler and declared that it’s time to stop dissing Nazis, Kanye then moved his shockingly blatant antisemitism and nearly constant ranting to Twitter. In his manic tweeting, Ye also defended Balenciaga, claimed that he “caught” Kim Kardashian with NBA player Chris Paul, and shared a pic of a shirtless Elon Musk, obviously meant to poke fun at his physique. Elon ultimately suspended Ye’s account (that he’s only had back since October), later clarifying it was because of the antisemitic stuff, not because of having his shirtless balls busted.
Not having much of a personal investment in the outcome of Kanye West (sorry but mononyms like “Ye” must be earned, not taken) and Kim Kardashian’s divorce, I was surprised to find myself getting a little misty-eyed thinking about the potential fate of their haunted mausoleum which has provided me with many years of much-needed catharsis and amusement. Yet it seems Kim’s friend Foodgod (mononym earned) isn’t the only deity working in/for her favor. Even now that Kanye has been kicked to the curb, Hephaestus, the Greek God of design and creativity, continues to shine his favor on Kim and all she touches and sits her ass on in that barren wasteland she calls a home.
Kanye West And Kim Kardashian Settle Their Divorce, And He Will Pay Her $200K A Month In Child Support
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West‘s unholy union is officially officially OVER! After years of terrorizing the masses with their stale, manufactured love they’ve finally reached the final round of The Divorce Game by settling their assets and cutting ties with one another for good. But their most precious, permanent assets are their children North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm. In their child support agreement, Kim will be receiving $200K a month from Kanye, and the payments are due on the first of each month, which will definitely eat away at Kanye’s millionaire status in no time since his bank account is rapidly wasting away into a pile of skin and bones.
Kanye West Announced His 2024 Presidential Run On Twitter And Admits Donald Trump Is Not Happy About It
While the rest of us were passed out from too much turkey on Thanksgiving Kanye West clearly got his holidays mixed up and thought it was Halloween. Because after making a return to Twitter, he frightened the stuffing out of everyone when he seemingly announced his 2024 run for president. This news came days after revealing he attended a secret dinner with current POS and former POTUS Donald Trump at his Honey Comb hideout Mar-a-Lago. Details surrounding their covert dinner of disaster were minimal at first but now Kanye is ready to let the world know exactly how Trump reacted when he told him he would be running again in 2024.