Don’t worry guys, Justin Bieber isn’t just periodically posting lazy memes in order to fulfill his promise to “speak up about racial injustice and systemic oppression,” he’s also doing his part to support the Black Lives Matter movement by throwing a party to celebrate the birth of his Black friend, rapper Justine Skye. Proof that Justin can walk the talk (let’s give him a pass on being able to spell the words), he and wife Hailey Baldwin bravely faced off against Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti’s ban on social gatherings and risked having their water turned off (not that Justin showers but Hailey might like a cup of tea) in order to host a bevy of Hollywood elites (OK, Calabasas krabs) at their Beverly Hills mansion. Justin even went so far as to hug Kylie Jenner upon arrival. Talk about bravery!
Canada’s #1 kid preacher is sorry he passed his peen around before marriage. According to People, in the latest episode of The Biebers on Watch on Facebook, Justin Bieber expressed regrets for not having saved himself for Hailey Baldwin, noting that “sex can be kind of confusing,” but did not specify if he meant mechanically or emotionally, leaving me to assume the former, and that Selena Gomez, at some point or another, has received a hot load to the ear canal.
What’s your COVID-19 entertainment wish? Mine is for Dolly Parton’s Buffy to be back on Netflix. Or to be able to binge-stream the underrated 90’s sitcom classic Just Shoot Me. I bet I can guess what yours is… for Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin to finally produce their own quarantine version of Red Table Talk? I mean, “horrific shit” seems to be the theme of this year, so why not?
Celebrities who aren’t Leslie Jordan really need to have a seat because your presence on social media throughout this pandemic is just not necessary. We don’t need to hear about how Justin Timberlake is struggling to raise ONE kid in the middle of a gated luxury community in Montana (although, Jessica Biel probably feels like she’s taking care of two toddlers). Sam Smith can leave their weepy selfies in the camera roll. And I definitely could have gone an entire lifetime without seeing Gal Gadot’s rich people version of thoughts and prayers. And now Justin Bieber, and his streetwear model Stepford wife, Hailey Baldwin joined their good friend, Kendall Jenner, in an Instagram livestream on Friday, where the trio managed to string together some complete sentences––some with pretty big words in them––about how important it is to acknowledge their privilege during these trying times.
Justin Bieber, mustache connoisseur and underwear model who occasionally sings, has been on quite the journey these last few months. And the highs and lows keep coming. I know I know, each Justin and Hailey Bieber story should be immediately followed by a mandatory Silkwood shower (that’s a reference for older gays), flea dip and eyeball realignment procedure. But if you’re still following Justin’s life with anything other than morbid curiosity, this story might be of interest.
Reynolds. Selleck. Einstein. Bieber. Just a few men whose iconic mustaches are more than a collection of hairs (three to be exact in Justin’s case) on a stiff upper lip. Underneath those bristles are men who matter, men of substance, men of means and men who stand for something larger than themselves. In Justin Bieber’s case, he stands for approximately 30 seconds in front of a mirror. That’s the time it took for him to shave off his struggle ‘stache. According to People, in yet another display of maturity and growth, Justin “got rid of the facial hair on his upper lip and shared some video of the moment on Instagram,” much to the delight of his wife Hailey Baldwin. I guess since People has a slightly higher journalistic standard than we do, they can’t legally call it a mustache.