Category: MTV VMAs 2017
Pink Gave Everyone The Feels At The VMAs Last Night
Especially that demon bear clutching the Big Gulp behind her, but his seem like the wrong kinda feels. ANYWHO, Pink reminded everyone that just ‘cuz she wasn’t part of the blonde pop star brigade of the early aughts doesn’t mean she didn’t crank out a string of killer videos – critics be damned!
She performed a medley of her hits before scooping up the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at last night’s MTV VMAs. Her outfit was part Wonder Woman, part caution tape, and part mechanic at your neighborhood Jiffy Lube. She somehow even managed to ride a John Deere lawn tractor while followed by a flock of chainsaw-wielding dancers dressed like a censored Madonna in the Sex book. I hope someone was covering poor Charlie Puth’s eyes since his twink cherub self isn’t old enough to see such naughtiness! Thankfully, the dramatic dance crescendo involved a thrash dance around an IKEA couch instead of her usual aerial circus fare. Continue reading
MTV VMA’s Fashion: Everybody Please Report For Detention
There was so much fashion fuckery at the MTV VMAs last night, I barely know where to begin! If the Teen Choice Awards are the Middle School dance of awards shows, then the VMA’s are the Junior Prom at an alternative performing arts magnet school. Since it’s high school, I’ll be announcing the winners and losers in several categories. The first category is Most Obvious Genitalia, and that award goes to none other than Nicki Minaj.
Lorde Is Still Very Lorde, I See…
Lorde was supposed to perform her latest despondent art school teen song, “Homemade Dynamite,” at the MTV VMAs last night. Unfortunately, Lorde came down with the flu before showtime. Lorde must be her own pushy stage mom, because flu be damned, Lorde still went out there and put on a show!
Fifth Harmony Brought Some Drama To The MTV VMAs
Fifth Harmony is what you get when the pretty girls at the office Christmas party decide to perform their finest version of anything by Destiny’s Child after one too many shots of Fireball. And last night, during the annual MTV Video Music Awards snoozefest, the group decided to take home the award for Best “Fuck YOU Bitch!” by a group when they threw some delicious, long awaited shade at former member Camila Cabello.
Jack Antonoff Was Not Impressed With Katy Perry’s VMAs Monologue
Nothing says “I’d rather be at home helping Lena Dunham reorganize the fuse box” like miserably chomping on a banana at a nationally televised awards show.