The only thing more suspect than Tom Brady’s deflated balls is how he two-stepped over from pregnant ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan and got with Gisele Bundchen. Gisl has already blabbed in the past about how it was kind of messy (Tom and Bridget didn’t know she was pregnant when they split…but still) and even thought about dumping his ass. When Bridget named their kid John Edward Thomas (the same initials as New England Patriots rival the New York Jets), most people thought that was her saying exactly how she felt. Now, Bridget wrote an essay and seems to be kind of peachy with how things ended up. Dammit, what’s with all the happiness in this jaded world?!
While it takes some rich people (I’m looking at you, Brad and Angelina) eons to get divorced, Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos and his wife of over 25 years MacKenzie Bezos wasted no time. It took them just under three months and a few rumored peen pics to finalize what, at $137 BILLION, may be the most expensive divorce in U.S. history. Don’t worry, money doesn’t change people. They still have “great respect” and all that other dumb shit celebrities say about each other after breaking up.
Normally when Martha Stewart bolts from an event, I imagine it is because the walls of the venue are an unacceptable shade of gray, someone is trying to serve her a frozen pizza, or because someone in the audience smells of something that most certainly would NOT end up in the pages of Martha Stewart Living. Martha is on a book tour, and an anti-fur protestor interrupted a stop in New York City to protest Martha Stewart, who wasn’t wearing fur at the time, and Canada Goose, which had nothing to do with the event. Normal!
We all know Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was hiding coin (lots of coin) from Uncle Sam, and Uncle Sam is that bitch who reads your phone and goes through your mail when you sleep. It didn’t take the government long to charge Mike with tax fraud, and he went to the slammer in January. We haven’t heard much from The Sitch since then, but luckily he’s on a reality show with major blabbermouths. Snooki was interviewed recently and gave an update on Mike. Surprisingly, he’s viewing prison like a stay at Club Med.
The traditional one-year anniversary gift is paper, a 25-year anniversary gift is silver, and apparently the traditional sticking it in another chick and getting her pregnant gift is adding major ice to your wife’s watch. Wendy Williams has been through the ringer, it seems, and that has led to her taking her show on hiatus – and blaming it on medical issues – only to return and announce she’s living in a sober house. Most people think that’s because she started hitting the sauce and powder after finding out her husband, Kevin Hunter and his longtime mistress Sharina Hudson welcomed a baby recently. Now there are reports Kevin’s “I’m sowwy” gift to Wendy was a may-jah diamond upgrade to her watch. Continue reading
…and they didn’t have to flash a nipple! Dammit. So it’s been very clear Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan want to cut ties with that uptight Prince William and Duchess Kate, so they moved from Kensington Palace, set up a new office, and they now have their own Instagram handle as of yesterday. Who knew in the year of 2019 we’d all hop like a bunch of lemmings over a ginger and his former actress wife posting photos of them shaking hands outside British nursing homes, but I guess that’s where we are. The new @SussexRoyal handle notched the record for fastest-time to notch one million followers.