Fan Bingbing is back back. The formerly-most famous Chinese actress is finally returning after all of her financial and legal issues. Fan got in trouble for a legitimate amount of tax evasion in China and ended up spending some time at a “resort” of sorts–if you consider Guantanamo Bay a resort. Well now that she’s out of the clink, she needs a new gig to help get money back in her no-longer-fraudulent bank account, and she’s got a pal in Jessica Chastain who is graciously allowing this felon to still be in her all-female action movie, 355.
Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
There’s nothing a basic #woke white huss loves more than to say how Jordan Peele’s Get Out transformed cinema with its message of race relations and proving what I’ve thought for years: Allison Williams is one shifty bitch. Jordan has hinted he was working on a movie for a while now, and he finally dropped the trailer (co-starring the return of I Got 5 On It) for that movie – called Us – on Christmas. Thanks, Santa? In short, its message is to prove we’re our own worst enemy. Well, no shit, Sherlock.
There were some real upside down and sideways looks on display at the The Council of Fashion Designers of America awards in NYC last night. Most notably Whoopi Goldberg giving us Little Bo Peep who lost her sheep and was forced to go to the big city and take out a bank loan for more, wearing her best Big Business suit. The added bonus of that suit is that those giant bell bottoms probably ring so damn loud, the sheep should have no problem finding their way back home.
Other notable looks included: Cate Blanchett‘s tuxedo/ baked potato/ butcher’s apron combo, and the night’s host Issa Rae’s belt that read “Every Nigga Is A Star”. All of those looks and more are in the gallery but for now, we’ve got plenty of high fashion to keep us in “what is going on here”s for a week.
Jordan Peele’s creating a monster! Well, a juggernaut at least, that will probably smash box office records. Jordan’s not fucking around with his much anticipated follow up to Get Out. Jordan released some art work and a title for his next movie and, according to Variety, he’s in talks with two Black Panther faves, Lupita Nyong’o and thick legend Winston Duke to star. And if she can get out of her cult obligations, Elisabeth Moss as well.
Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, and Fan Bingbing Are Doing A Spy Movie Together
Deadline says that next week, Jessica Chastian, Lupita Nyong’o, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, and Fan Bingbing will be the toast of Cannes when they reveal 355, their large-scale international spy movie. So it’s like the gritty, edgy baby of Atomic Blonde and Charlie’s Angels.
355 will feature all five actresses as international agents in a “grounded, edgy action thriller.” They’ll each play a spy from a different agency who gets together to form a global organization to take down a “very bad weapon.” The hope is to launch this as a thriller franchise, so the five women will be pitching the film to international investors in Cannes. The film’s director, Simon Kinberg, just directed Jessica in X-Men: Dark Phoenix. Rather than spend her downtime at the craft service table, she pitched the idea for 355 to Simon. I guess we know how well that went! Jessica says that she’s been wanting to get back in a female ensemble cast since she did The Help:
“I had so much fun working on The Help that I always wanted to do another female ensemble film. I love the Bourne movies, the Mission: Impossible films, and wondered why, except for Charlie’s Angels, there hadn’t been a true female ensemble action-thriller spy film. That got my wheels going, along with the idea of casting actresses from all over the world to truly make it an international project… Then I called all the women, told them what I was envisioning and that I wanted it to be a collaborative process, and how we would all create this together.”
Before you start to think 355 is going to focus on Jessica, she and Simon both say the idea is to give everyone equal screen time and develop each character. I’m sure part of that is to be fair, but I’m sure another part of that is because, if they pull this off, they can have 45 spinoffs and make everyone a crap-load of money. I’m sure Matt Damon would have a lot to say about women coming for that Bourne coin, but lucky for us – his lips are on strike! Halle-loo!