Sia spoke with GQ recently and told them all about how she wants to get some from her old friend and collaborator, Diplo. Same, Sia. But while I’m not in a position to even try to get Diplo to fuck me, you are and you shot your shot! And I respect the hell out of it. And Diplo gave his response on that. His thoughts? “No comment.”
It’s not that the Grammys are for your parents, the Grammys are your parents. Old, strict, self-serious, adore Adele, and are prone to making arbitrary decisions like letting JLo perform a Motown medley. Just ask Halsey who basically yelled at them “you’re not the boss of me” during her acceptance speech last night at the American Music Awards. The AMAs are your cool, twice-divorced aunt who taught you how to french inhale and has a lover in Madrid who she visits every Spring. As such, she’s a lot more fun. But unlike your parents who actually clothe, house, and feed your ungrateful ass, her gifts are frivolous and tacky. But fun! That dynamic was reflected in the red carpet looks from last night’s AMAs. Risks were taken. Choices were made. For example, OG fun aunt Christina Aguilera showed up looking like a goddamn snack. A saltine cracker, specifically. Which is a shame because believe me, most of the people there were already very, very thirsty.
Popeyes running out of their chicken sandwich has caused chaos with people making reasonable decisions like suing them and pulling guns on their employees. But as havoc is wreaked over the maybe-extinction of Popeyes fried chicken sandwiches, Diplo is claiming that he’s so special that Popeyes sent him some on a private jet. If Diplo really wanted to be eaten alive by crazy Popeyes fans hungry for that chicken sandwich, he’s going about it the right way.
The year is 2019, and there’s a teddy bear in Naughty by Nature. It’s as confusing a notion as it is a sentence to read. But these are the times we are living in. Time to accept that what once was in the past, will be revisiting us in the present (with a collection of random pop culture barnacles from The Time Tube attached), to confuse future generations. So now NBN (pictured above with their new bear Illtown Sluggaz and Redman) has a Kanye West style College Dropout teddy bear in it, and Treach has gone from excoriating his ex-wife Pepa (of Salt-N-Pepa fame) on Instagram, to parading around in bondage gear and issuing confusing handkerchief codes at the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards. Hip hop hooray?
You know when Tim Gunn used to warn Project Runway contestants about making sure their looks don’t go too costumey? It always turned out to be pretty solid advice, and contestants who didn’t heed his warnings were usually sent home. I always imagined those losing designers slipped quietly away to careers in the circus or on the drag circuit. But judging from the runway at last night’s Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, some of them went on to have lucrative careers making costumes for remakes of popular movies.
It’s been over 10 years since The Hurt Locker won the Academy Award for Best Picture. That means it’s ripe for a remake. In this version, Mustard has the nerve wracking job of diffusing Mariah Carey’s Lush bath bombs. It’s a dangerous job, but Mustard’s just the man to do it. Look, he’s on the hair brush right now, getting dispatched to his next mission. They’ve found a Bom Perignon in Mimi’s toilet!
I’m pretty sure Diplo must just like the whirling of snake emoji notifications on his iPhone, because he should know by now that when you make fun of Taylor Swift, her legion of psychotic conformists fans will turn out in droves to go Don Corleone on your social media. He already made fun of her ass – or lack thereof – and now he did it again by mocking her music. Continue reading