You know when Tim Gunn used to warn Project Runway contestants about making sure their looks don’t go too costumey? It always turned out to be pretty solid advice, and contestants who didn’t heed his warnings were usually sent home. I always imagined those losing designers slipped quietly away to careers in the circus or on the drag circuit. But judging from the runway at last night’s Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, some of them went on to have lucrative careers making costumes for remakes of popular movies.
It’s been over 10 years since The Hurt Locker won the Academy Award for Best Picture. That means it’s ripe for a remake. In this version, Mustard has the nerve wracking job of diffusing Mariah Carey’s Lush bath bombs. It’s a dangerous job, but Mustard’s just the man to do it. Look, he’s on the hair brush right now, getting dispatched to his next mission. They’ve found a Bom Perignon in Mimi’s toilet!
I’m pretty sure Diplo must just like the whirling of snake emoji notifications on his iPhone, because he should know by now that when you make fun of Taylor Swift, her legion of psychotic conformists fans will turn out in droves to go Don Corleone on your social media. He already made fun of her ass – or lack thereof – and now he did it again by mocking her music. Continue reading
Unlike a certain goody, goody pop star who pretends like a wild night for her is when she, Meredith Grey, and Olivia Benson stay up late sipping Swiss Miss and watch Murder, She Wrote, Charli XCX ain’t fucking around. Or maybe she is. While she’s singing, “I was busy thinkin’ bout boys, boys, boys” in her latest video (same, girl), I can certainly see why. It’s like a peen parade. No, you don’t see actual peen, but plenty of man nalgas!
During Katy Perry’s 72-hour live-streaming attention-fest, she ranked her three most recent boyfriend from best to worst in the sack. We learned Katy had a great time with John Mayer, a decent time with Orlando Bloom, and sitting comfortably on the lowest sex rung was Diplo. Diplo responded to the news by claiming he doesn’t even remember having sex with that woman.
Taylor Swift took the attention away from Katy Perry on the day that her album Witness dropped. But Katy managed to steal back a shred of attention from her (now former?) nemesis, and all it took was a conversation about famous dick during the 72-hour livestream of her life.
Answer: Diddy gives a fuck, like a lot of fucks.
red beige and blue carpet posing portion of last night’s Met Gala, Diddy worked the cameras with his on-and-off-and-on-and-off-and-on-again piece Cassie, and at one point he lounged on the steps like a man casually lounging on a display at Forever 21 while his girlfriend gets in a long line to try on a pair of jeans. That little smooth move brought out a dozen “Diddy Don’t Give A Fuck” headlines. Au contraire, bitch. Diddy does give a fuck and that shameless spotlight-shifting whore knew what he was doing.
Cassie stood there in a field of humongous ass sea urchins, working for those camera clicks, as Diddly easily got the cameras to move his way by casually strolling to the stairs for a little lounging time. Cassie’s dress is covered with giant plastic caterpillars (or are those giant Groucho Marx brows?) and Diddy gets all the attention by simply lounging like an evil vampire lounging on a velvet settee while eyeing his prey from across the room. Diddy wants us to think he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about her,” but we all know he’s saying, “Oh, this moment is all about moi.”
With that being said, I’d probably do the same thing, because standing is hard. And also, that dramatic lying down pose really does show off Diddy’s “Steven Seagal spending a casual afternoon at home” outfit.
And now we end our never-ending Mess Gala 2017 coverage with several dollops of hotness provided by the dudes of the night including ASkars, Riz Ahmed, Rami Malek and Luke Evans.
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty