Category: Elon Musk

Elon Musk Wants You To #DeleteFacebook

February 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Elon Musk took time away from communicating with his and Grimes’ alleged unborn baby via AI-powered sonic unit, and decided to go after Mark Zuckerberg on Twitter with help from Sacha Baron Cohen. Elon has hated on Facebook in the past. Two years ago, he deleted all Facebook pages associated with his companies. And now he’s telling the rest of y’all to #DeleteFacebook.

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Open Post: Hosted By Elon Musk’s New EDM Song

February 1, 2020 / Posted by:

Our THC-infused, space-traversing, mecha overlord Elon Musk has given birth to a musical child prior to the one that he cyber-spermed into Grimes even seeing the light of robopocalypse day! Translation: He’s dropped an EDM track, according to Complex. Is it, what do the kids say today, a bop? Does it slap? Is it a banger that goes for our throats? Who knows. Actually, it’s basically what you would hear in the background before you catch salmonella at a Chipotle but what the hell do I know? I was listening to The Psychedelic Furs on Spotify yesterday so count me out.

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Jeff Bezos “Earned” Over $13 Billion In Under 15 Minutes

January 31, 2020 / Posted by:

Because you, the average person, are too lazy to actually take your ass to Target, Jeff Bezos just became $13.2 billion richer than he already was. Congratulations, you just paid for Lauren Sanchezspa treatments for a year! Ok, maybe 6 months, but seriously get a grip. You’re an adult. Do you have a crush on your Amazon Prime driver or something?

According to Bloomberg (the news org, not the other billionaire, at least not directly), Amazon stock surged yesterday, netting Jeff $13.2 billion in as much time as it takes for you to find anything on Prime Video using their crappy search function. Seriously, how is Netflix the only streaming service with a user friendly interface?!

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Grimes Has An Instagram Account For Her Fetus

January 25, 2020 / Posted by:

Canadian cyborg Grimes is pregnant with Elon Musk’s techno-organic spawn, and she’s been posting pics of herself all aglow with the bearing of what is probably the AI that will wipe us all out. In fact, Grimes is so in love with being knocked up that she’s even started an Instagram account for her fetus. Now you can follow along with the birth of the singularity!

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Elon Musk’s New Tesla Is Getting ROASTED Because Of How Ugly It Is

November 22, 2019 / Posted by:

Kotaku says that people are mocking the shit out of Tesla’s new LEGO DeLoreon-looking  Cybertruck. Elon Musk revealed the new truck at the Tesla Design Center in L.A. The hideous beast of a car was called by Elon the “official truck of Mars” which no human lives on, and will probably live on in this lifetime. And unless E.T. wants to correct me, I doubt there’s an alien up there who wants to drive that ugly shit.

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