Category: How Very GOOP Of You

Hilary Duff Says She Also Follows The Morning Diet Plan That Gwyneth Paltrow “Got In Trouble” For

May 11, 2023 / Posted by:

It seemed like little Hilary Duff had only just grown into her veneers when in the blink of an eye, we were reading that for an ancient, decrepit 35-year-old, she still looks great! She’s been pretty unproblematic for her long celeb tenure, so when she admitted on a podcast that she sometimes practices Gwyneth Paltrow’s widely-criticized morning ritual of not eating food and only getting their tweak on with black coffee, it didn’t sound as alarming or nefarious. The fact that Bethenny Frankel didn’t run to her defense and Hilary didn’t follow it up by trying to peddle and/or eat coochie candle probably also didn’t hurt.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Is A Whole Dollar Richer After A Jury Declares She’s Not Liable In Utah Ski Crash Case

March 30, 2023 / Posted by:

The people of Park City, Utah, better triple mask up unless they want to choke on the massive amounts of snooty smug wafting off Gwyneth Paltrow today. Because Goopy was victorious in her hit-and-run ski accident case. 50-year-old Gwyneth may not have destroyed 76-year-old retired optometrist Dr. Terry Sanderson on the slopes, but she destroyed him in court. The jury ruled that Terry was 100% at fault for the crash. Terry was originally suing Gwyneth for $3.1 million in damages, but that case was dismissed. So he re-filed, asking for $300,000 in damages instead. Gwyneth countersued for $1 in damages plus attorney fees, and that’s what the jury awarded her in court. Goopy’s traveling team of butlers better pull out her best bottle of sparkling bone broth because she’s partying tonight! I bet she’ll even have two glasses. Go wild, Goopy!

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Gwyneth Paltrow Clarifies That She Eats More Than Bone Broth

March 18, 2023 / Posted by:

To some, wellness means caring for your mind, body, and soul and approaching things with a balanced mindset. To others, it means an opportunity to lord over those peons who gorge on the recommended intake of 2000 calories a day and don’t have a team of on-call skincare specialists! Gwyneth Paltrow recently shared the secret to how she manages to stay so thin, pleasant and grounded: bone broth and coffee. Unfortunately, GOOP naysayers came for her, saying ludicrous things like “you can’t stay alive just eating broth” and “this is giving eating disorder.” Gwyneth shot back at haters saying to get the rectal ozone stick out of their asses because, ACTUALLY, she eats human food sometimes!

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Wellness Routine” Is Called Out By Health Professionals For Sounding Like An Gateway Into Eating Disorders

March 15, 2023 / Posted by:

Welp–another day, another expert suggesting that you should not listen to Gwyneth Paltrow‘s life advice. Currently, the 50-year-old Goop Cult Leader is pushing a “wellness routine” that has eating disorder specialists going: “Pause!” saying that her diet is not giving her enough energy for a living human. But have they considered that Gwyneth fuels her body nutrition via her overt uppity pretentiousness?

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Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow Saying That Rectal Ozone Therapy Is The Weirdest Wellness Thing She’s Done

March 14, 2023 / Posted by:

Since starting Goop in 2008, Gwyneth Paltrow aimed to share ways to “nourish the inner aspect” through unconventional and expensive wellness fads and lifestyle items with other wildly pretentious people, and also to turn a profit, obviously. So, she’s tried a lot of things over the years, but while guesting on The Art of Being Well, she shared that the strangest wellness thing she’s ever tried is rectal ozone therapy, which is when ozone gas is pumped right into your fart-box. Though the FDA warns against it, Gwyneth (and others who also aren’t qualified to give medical advice) claim it has many benefits.

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Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow Letting Us Know That She Still Has A Dress She Wore On A Date With Brad Pitt Almost Thirty Years Ago

February 3, 2023 / Posted by:

We all know Gwyneth Paltrow is the self-professed Queen of organic wares that could potentially burn your house down, but did you also know she has a soft spot for nostalgia as well? For example, there are some people who remember a time when she and Brad Pitt looked like they were about to be each other’s forever loves. Unfortunately, they couldn’t stay together and moved on to other relationships that failed as miserably as theirs did. However, in the spirit of holding onto beautiful memories (and mothball-protected garments), Gwyneth revealed she still owns a dress she wore to a movie premiere with Brad. And she took her thirsty GOOP coven on a trip through her closet to proudly show off all of her 90s fashion keepsakes.

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