It’s already off to the damn races for the 2020 Oscars, and Elton John helped Taron Egerton launch his campaign to become Rami Malek 2.0 last night. Elton always throws a big Oscars bash since it’s his annual big dick contest with Madonna and her own Oscars bash. Taron, who is playing Elton in the upcoming Rocketman, actually sang “Tiny Dancer” at Elton’s party, and El was more than happy to oblige since Madge and Gaga’s publicity stunt couldn’t DARE be the news of the night.
For some people, Halloween is an excuse to get dressed up like a damn fool, but for others, it’s an annual tradition to play Halloween Bystander and watch what kind of over-the-top nonsense The Unofficial Halloween Queen, Heidi Klum, steps out in. She’s been everything: Michael Jackson’s Thriller werewolf, Jessica Rabbit, old Heidi Klum, skinless Heidi Klum, Heidi Klone. This year, Heidi and her boyfriend Tom Kaulitz went as the ogre Queen and King of the swamp, Fiona and Shrek from Shrek.
Of course she doesn’t; that’s the smile of a woman who doesn’t have to worry about hearing the words, “Not tonight honey, my sciatica’s acting up.”
For about four months now, 45-year-old Heidi Klum has been dating 28-year-old Tom Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel. Heidi is 17 years older than Tom. This isn’t Heidi’s first time at the younger man rodeo; last year Heidi split from Vito Schnabel, who was about 14 years younger than her. So does Heidi have a thing for guys born in the 1980s or what? She recently confessed during an interview with InStyle that the date on their birth certificate doesn’t matter to her.
“My boyfriend is many years younger than me, and lots of people are questioning that and asking about it. That’s really the only time when age seems to be shoved in my face and I have to give an answer for it. I don’t really think about it that much otherwise. You have to just live a happy life without worrying too much about what people think because worrying is only going to give you more wrinkles.”
Heidi is one of those people who is morphing into an indeterminate age (aka vaguely mid-30s), and thanks to that facial hair, I doubt Tom gets carded that often at the liquor store. So it’s not like they look so different together. And thankfully she’s not insecure about it. If I were Heidi, I know it wouldn’t take long before I held a picture from Halloween 2013 up to my face and asked Tom to play Spot The Difference while warning that he better not say he can’t find any.
When I first read that Heidi Klum was boning some Tokio Hotel guy I assumed he was a real estate dude with hotels in Tokyo and wondered if I’d been spelling Tokyo wrong my whole life. I did not expect that Heidi would be boning some youth from a boy band called Tokio Hotel! Now I know how my aunt felt when I tried to explain to her what Migos was because she decided to watch Saturday Night Live a couple weeks ago. Now that I know what Tokio Hotel is (conceptually at least), I now understand that 44-year-old Heidi is dating 29-year-old Tom Kaulitz.
Prepare yourself for a pairing so random and late-2000s, it could only be outdone by a headline that reads: Jennifer Aniston finds new love with a box of L’Oréal Feria haircolor in R57. Six months after calling it quits with Vito Schnabel, 44-year-old Heidi Klum got caught kissing 28-year-old Tom Kaulitz, twin brother of human Pokemon Bill Kaulitz, both of the band Tokio Hotel.
Heidi and Tom decided to let everyone know they’re a thing by laying it on thick in front of photographers at an America’s Got Talent event last Sunday.
Heidi Klum the cougar strikes again! https://t.co/fk05m83COv
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) March 26, 2018
This isn’t technically the first time Heidi and Tom have been spotted out together. On March 14th, they were seen leaving a club in West Hollywood in the same car together. The Daily Mail has pictures of Heidi and Tom kissing, holding hands, and hugging. At one point, Heidi crouches down and grabs onto Tom’s leg. They almost covered all their bases, but my favorite pose – kissing with one leg bent back (aka The G-Rated Romance Novel Cover) – was missing. Oh well, next time.
All jokes about Heidi being a cougar aside, I’m sure she and Tom have a lot to talk about. For example, they’re both from Germany and they could always bond over Victoria’s Secret.
Heidi: “1997 was the first year I walked in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.”
Tom: “Cool, that’s the same year me and my other 3rd grade friends found an old VS catalogue in the woods!“