Beyond The Boring Ass Black Suit: Lil Nas X Served Silver Nalgas And Pedro Pascal Gave Us Leg At The Met Gala
Since the Met Gala’s theme this year was a tribute to Kunty Karl, who was the overlord of Chanel for decades, there were more pearl necklaces than a bukkake convention and enough lace to pull David’s Bridal out of bankruptcy. There was also a sea of basic black suits since many dudes just rolled out of bed and into a boring ensemble their assistant picked up for them the day before at Brooks Brothers. But not every dude showed up dressed like they were going to a funeral (which was fitting since the real star of the Met Gala was born and died last night).
Billy Porter is usually the Maestro of Over-The-Top Fashun Foolery at the Met Gala, but he sat out this year. But luckily, Lil Nas X grabbed Billy’s sparkly baton and moistened tips by doing himself up like Liberace’s answer to the Tin Man. And Pedro Pascal also gave everyone a case of the tingles by simply showing off his slutty daddy legs.
I think we’ve come a long way in our society when stars are being questioned about whether they’re pretending to be gay because it’s always been the other way around! And other artists have been accused of gay-baiting (see: Nick Jonas, etc…), but Lucifer’s lap-dancin’ lyricist Lil Nas X has been accused of faking his gayness completely. Apparently, there’s a theory going around that the only reason he pretends to be gay is so he can finesse the entire LGBTQ+ community into spending money on his shows and music. And Nas X replied in his most favorite manner by clapping that ass while clapping back at anyone who believes this silly notion.
A year and a half ago, Lil Nas X gave birth to a healthy baby album. He named it “Montero”. This week, the 23-year-old rapper expanded his family once again, and welcomed two little kittens! Unlike Montero, Lil Nas did not give birth to these little bundles of
joy fur naturally. He adopted them at Saving Sage Animal Rescue in Florida. To celebrate his gorgeous new babies, Nas posted a daddy-and-kitties photoshoot. In the caption, Lil Nas clarified that he isn’t his kittens’ stepfather, he’s the father “who stepped up!” OK, but he wouldn’t really be their stepfather anyway, right? Cuz he’s not romantically involved with the momma cat. At least, I hope not…
It’s been a while since Lil Nas X made headlines for corrupting the youths. That Satan lap dance was nearly two years ago. And his Grammy’s crotch grab was last spring. Is Lil Nas X losing his touch? Thankfully, the answer is no. A few days ago, the rapper posed for an Instagram pic with The Wiggles, and the mere suggestion that the Australian children’s music group might possibly collaborate with Nas sent concerned mothers into a tailspin. Won’t somebody please think of the children?!?
Lil Nas X has no problem trolling anyone who dares deny his beautiful, black, gay magnificence and honestly if his rap career doesn’t pan out he would make a wonderful comedian. Because he’s a master of making light out of most situations he’s been through. And during a recent stop on his Long Live Montero world tour, Lil Nas took a cue from the Bible by feeding the hungry (attention-seeking homophobes protesting his concert) with a delivery of delicious pizza.
Lil Nas X Says BET Made Him Swear He Wasn’t A Satanist Before Allowing Him To Perform At Their Awards Show Last Year
The 2022 BET Awards were held last night, and if you know anything about this year’s ceremony, then you know that to Lil Nas X, BET stood for “Barred from Entry Tonight.” That’s because Lil Nas X was snubbed from this year’s award show. He received zero nominations, which was weird, considering he had three really big songs last year and a top-charting album. Lil Nas X recently spoke about his current relationship with BET, which is clearly pretty bad. But he thinks things started to go sour at last year’s ceremony.