Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candle

January 12, 2020 / Posted by:

If Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t such an insufferable snot, you could almost appreciate her trolling game (and I also appreciate it because it got The Rock to talk about his balls). Gwyneth knows that she’s forever associated with vaginas ever since she sold jade pussy eggs to her dupes on her Goop site, as well as recommending that her followers steam their vagines for health reasons. To publicize her new GOOP show on Netflix, she’s full-court press with the vagina references.

The poster for her show depicts Gwynie standing in a big one. And People reports that now you can buy a candle that smells like her innermost self. Yes, Gwyneth is selling a candle that smells like her twat. Well, someone’s. The scent is called “This Smells Like My Vagina.” I’m crying sexism (not really) because if a male celeb released a candle called “This Smells Like My Penis,” everyone would probably be complaining about how tacky he was. Except for Michael K, who would buy at least 16 “This Smells Like My Penis” candles for his home in every color.

The 47-year-old actress’ company is currently selling a $75 votive cheekily named “This Smells Like My Vagina,” according to a listing on Goop’s online store.

Per the product description, the item — made by artisanal fragrance brand Heretic — “started as a joke” between perfumer Douglas Little and Paltrow while they were collaborating on a fragrance together. The two were testing scents when the Politician star blurted out, “Uhhh..this smells like a vagina,” the website said.

On GOOP, the sold-out candle’s smell is described as “blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed,” and a “funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.” The latter is up for debate but the former….what the hell kind of greenhouse does Gwyneth Paltrow have residing in her womanly folds to have all that plant life smell going on?!?


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