Category: Billy Eichner
Duchess Meghan Met Beyoncé At The London Premiere Of “The Lion King”
How nice it must have been for her to be in the presence of royalty. After all, it’s not every day that one meets the indisputable Queen of Music, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. I’m of course kidding, because I’m sure Beyoncé – a noted Duchess of Sussex fan – was also very thrilled to be meeting a royal like Duchess Meghan.
Beyonce Is Putting Out An Entire “Lion King-Inspired” Album
Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
The Lion Speaks Tonight In The New Full Length Trailer For “The Lion King”
For the first time in furstory, RuPaul needs to tell both Mufasa (James Earl Jones) and Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to sashay away. The time came for them to lipsync for their lives, and they both fucked it up. In the first full-length trailer for Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, it’s impossible to tell what is a voiceover and what is supposed to be coming out of them critters’ mouths. Sorry, Disney. This is not an improvement. I honestly think they’ve made a grave mistake. None of this looks right to me. In the original, Simba smiled to express joy. You cannot have a realistic lion smile, it would be positively ghoulish. So they’ve all got weird, stiff mouths and they should have kept their veils on.
Tom Arnold And Mark Burnett Got Into A Pre-Emmy Party Fight (UPDATE)
“DAMN, that’s some good coke” is probably what several people said after watching super producer Mark Burnett (he does Survivor, The Voice, Shark Tank, Celebrity Apprentice, and a few Jesus movies, etc…) choke out Tom Arnold as his wife Roma Downey screamed she was touched by a devil! Although, a middle-aged man throwdown between Tom Arnold and Mark Burnett isn’t that random since Tom has made it his mission to get the tapes of Trump being Trump (read: mouth-farting out racist fuckery) on the set of Celebrity Apprentice, and thinks Mark is trying to protect Trump by not releasing the tapes. It all came to a head last night and Tom and Mark busted out a messy scene that is definitely more exciting than the Emmys itself.
Lindsay Lohan Is A Valerie Cherish Stan And Wants To Help Bring Back “The Comeback”
A friend of mine once dumped a girl he was dating for not ever having taken the time to see a Star Wars flick. This seemed ridic to me until recently. One of my gay friends quoted a line from a show (“I don’t want to see that!“) and the look on my face (think Trump when you try to explain global warming) clued him in that I had never seen said show.
Exasperated friend: You’ve never seen The Comeback? Aunt Sassy?
Me: No, I just…
Exasperated friend: Valerie Cherish? You know, Lisa Kudrow from Friends?
Me: I’ve seen bits of it here and there but…
Exasperated friend: How can you call yourself a gay TV junkie and never seen The Comeback?
It was then I realized there are people out there who will cut you for not having seen their favorites. You would think I hadn’t vaccinated my child. And I’ve never referred to myself as a “gay TV junkie,” thank you. Anyway, apparently The Comeback is the cult classic that I should see before I die. And Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in Season 3. Well, it’s not like she has any other plans now that the holidays are over. Continue reading
The Fashion And Folly Of The American Music Awards
The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.