Category: Blue Ivy Carter

Open Post: Hosted By Blue Ivy Carter Getting Embarrassed By Jay-Z At The NBA Finals

June 14, 2022 / Posted by:

When most of us recall our adolescent misadventures in parental embarrassment, it’s usually something like our moms washing out Ziploc bags to reuse while friends were over or dad getting snippy with the teen who works at the movie theater concession stand over the price of a large popcorn. If you’re Blue Ivy Carter, it’s when your rap legend father, Jay-Z, dares to show affection to you on camera at the risk of messing up your coiffure when the crowd is alerted that they’ve been graced with your courtside presence.

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Beyoncé Made Grammys History By Winning Her 28th Award, And Blue Ivy Carter Won One Too

March 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Blue Ivy Carter is 9 years old and before yesterday, she was already an NAACP Award winner and a BET Soul Train Award winner. And last night, she became a Grammy winner. Not to be outshone by her own child, Beyoncé also took home a bunch of wins and became the most-awarded female artist and tied for the most-awarded living artist in Grammys history. And now Quincy Jones, who she’s tied with, better watch his back because the Beyhive is going to harass him into giving up a few of his Grammys so their God can take the record!

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Blue Ivy Carter Is Now A Grammy Nominee

December 13, 2020 / Posted by:

That section of hope-filled and sleekly gloved but identity-challenged arm you see in the photo above is all of us. It wants, it strives, it works hard, and deposits its paychecks. It shops for glam accessories and slips them on in earnest for photo ops. It impatiently rips open bags of Doritos and faps to hot people it hopes to one day meet. And yet all its best efforts are nothing but a cruel exercise in that humorless asshole we all know as futility. This arm, like all of us plebes, loses time and time again, and gets edged out by the will-breaking, dream-shattering bitch troll known simply as “My Parents Are Famous And Yours Aren’t.” All my arm has to show for years of striving is vexing winter dryness and a raging case of carpal tunnel. Look down and you’ll see the same. But we’re totally not bitter.

As it happens, this particular, elegantly gloved arm is having nothing of the above scenario and belongs to none other than Beyoncé. The future 2021 Grammy recipient, of course, is her daughter, Blue Ivy Carter.

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8-Year-Old Blue Ivy Carter Just Won An NAACP Image Award

February 23, 2020 / Posted by:

If you needed a reminder that you are doing nothing with your life, cultural icon Blue Ivy Carter just won an NAACP Image award, adding another highlight to her resume (that also includes, in bold font, being the daughter of Jay Z and Beyonce). Well, it wasn’t an award for shadiest side-eye, or best example of public civility and manners, it was for SONGWRITING AND SINGING!

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Jennifer Lopez And Roc Nation Reportedly Clashed Over That Border Crisis Statement During The Super Bowl Halftime Show (UPDATE)

February 4, 2020 / Posted by:

Jennifer Lopez and Shakira turned the Super Bowl LIV halftime show into an extravaganzaaaaa. They shook their thangs, brought the memes, worked the pole, and made a political statement about immigration in the U.S. But that last part was a bit iffy for some involved in the show, namely Jay-Z. It’s now being reported that Jay-Z and Jennifer bumped heads over the whole latin-kids-singing-about-being-American-while-trapped-in-cages thing. He wanted her to not do that. But the only thing Jennifer Lopez doesn’t do? Is drive to the Oscars.

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Blue Ivy Carter Is Already An Award-Winning Songwriter At 7 Years Old

November 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Blue Ivy Carter is 7 years old and has already won a BET Soul Train Award in songwriting for her artistic writing contributions to her mom Beyonce’s song Brown Skin Girl. This reminds us all how useless our soccer participation awards are! Blue Ivy wrote the lyrics, “Brown skin girl, your skin just like pearls, the best thing in the world, never trade you for anybody else.” And I’ll sit here and wait for Linda Perry to try to snatch that award right out of Blue Ivy’s hands after accusing her of pulling a Beyonce, and then the Beyhive will swarm Linda like Macaulay Culkin in My Girl.

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