Lindsay Lohan Is A Valerie Cherish Stan And Wants To Help Bring Back “The Comeback”

January 6, 2018 / Posted by:

A friend of mine once dumped a girl he was dating for not ever having taken the time to see a Star Wars flick. This seemed ridic to me until recently. One of my gay friends quoted a line from a show (“I don’t want to see that!“) and the look on my face (think Trump when you try to explain global warming) clued him in that I had never seen said show.

Exasperated friend: You’ve never seen The Comeback? Aunt Sassy?

Me: No, I just…

Exasperated friend: Valerie Cherish? You know, Lisa Kudrow from Friends?

Me: I’ve seen bits of it here and there but…

Exasperated friend: How can you call yourself a gay TV junkie and never seen The Comeback?

It was then I realized there are people out there who will cut you for not having seen their favorites. You would think I hadn’t vaccinated my child. And I’ve never referred to myself as a “gay TV junkie,” thank you. Anyway, apparently The Comeback is the cult classic that I should see before I die. And Lindsay Lohan wants to participate in Season 3. Well, it’s not like she has any other plans now that the holidays are over.

It all started when ride-or-die Ross Matthews bro, Billy Eichner, tweeted that he wants another season of the show with a “woke” Valerie Cherish.

Lindsay, looking for work, liked that idea.

And the ultimate stamp of “this might actually happen” was when Lisa Kudrow chimed in from on high (“on high” meaning “from on top of her several stories of Friends millions).

Then everyone jumped in. Everybody being Sarah Paulson and Zach Braff. Their tweets had nothing to do with The Comeback so we’ll ignore them.

As the EW post that reported on this pointed out, jokey “what if?” projects on Twitter can become a reality. A Twitter user fan-fictioned a heist movie starring Rihanna and Lupita Nyong’o

…and it turned into an upcoming a Netflix-produced major motion picture with Ava DuVernay attached to direct and Issa Rae possibly writing the screenplay. (Tubby Kola’s getting a credit on that, right? Just checkin’.)

And, this is almost painful to type, but it could work. From what I’ve seen, a meta-Lindsay Lohan appearance on The Comeback’s third season could fit right in. Unfortunately, Lisa Kudrow would then be out most of her Friends money. It will all have to go to affording the intense amounts of psychotherapy and transcendental meditation instruction necessary to cope with casting Lindsay Lohan in anything.


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