Jimmy Fallon, Tracy Morgan And Lorne Michaels Have Been Added As Defendants In The Sexual Assault Lawsuit Against Horatio Sanz
Once again, Saturday Night Live alum Horatio Sanz is making headlines for allegedly grooming a 15-year-old girl and sexually assaulting her at an SNL cast party when she was 17. I say “once again” but that is literally the only reason Horatio has ever made a headline in his entire career. With a legacy like that, you’d think his old pals at SNL might have all come down with Sanznesia like the rest of us and wiped him from their collective memories. But in fact, Lorne Michaels and Horatio’s former castmates Jimmy Fallon and Tracy Morgan care very much about what Horatio is up to these days because they have all just been named as defendants in an amended complaint filed by a “Jane Doe.” Jane Doe claims that Lorne, Jimmy, and Tracy all enabled Horatio’s misconduct. I guess that’s one way to get the guys to pick up your calls. It’s a sick, twisted, and extremely convoluted way, but hey I guess it worked. I heard Horatio and the boys were gonna try to get together with their lawyers soon for some beers and mutually assured destruction.
Tracy Morgan Talked To “Today’s” Hoda Kotb About Coronavirus Role-Playing, His Pet Gorilla, And Donald Trump
Tracy Morgan is a clown. And I mean that in the best possible way. So it’s not surprising that Hoda Kotb came away from interviewing him on Today with whip cream and seltzer in her hair. Throughout the interview, Tracy rattled off a number of wild and obviously untrue statements such as him impregnating his wife three times in three weeks, he and his wife sexually role playing as desperate “young maiden” and “scientist who discovered the cure,” him wanting to get his new pet gorilla tested for COVID-19, and Donald Trump not being to blame for the situation at hand. Oh, that Tracy!
Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
As promised, Hollywood has delivered a reboot of the 2000 Nancy Meyers film, What Women Want called What Men Want, and the first trailer was released today. If you’re into Taraji P. Henson in top-shelf power bitch business suits, you’re going to be all over this movie.
In the trailer, we learn that instead of advertising executive Mel Gibson creeping on women’s brains, it’s sports agent Taraji P. Henson using men’s thoughts against them in an attempt to break through the glass ceiling.
That image above is from right after Taraji’s character discovers what her brain can do. And honestly, that’s probably the same face I’d make if I had just discovered that I was now trapped in a mental prison that involved hearing the inner thoughts of the men around me. I live two doors down from a frat house, so my skull would basically be a never-ending nightmare box filled with inner-monologues about MMA, “smoking hot broads” and Jägermeister.
In What Women Want, Mel Gibson gained access to women’s minds by falling into the bathtub while holding a hairdryer. In What Men Want, Taraji’s magic happens after she meets with a psychic played by Erykah Badu, who offers her some jasmine tea with just a pinch of weed, peyote, and crack. Is Erykah even playing a character? That is kind of how she dresses in real life, and some of the shit she’s said recently definitely sounds like the work of drug tea. Why do I get the feeling that at least once, as she was pouring that tea, she looked at the cameras and said: “So, are you guys filming a movie?”
Before we fully get into the river of depressing smegma that this news week will probably bring, let’s raise a wig and celebrate some happy news: RuPaul finally got his hands around his first Emmy after being in the TV game for eons. HalleluRu!
If award shows always got it right, Ru would’ve gotten his first Emmy in the 90s for Best And Most Glamorous Talk Show host for Vh1’s The RuPaul Show. But since award shows mostly never get it right, that didn’t happen. It only took 20 years, but the title “Emmy-winning RuPaul” is finally a fact.
Tracy Morgan returned to SNL last night, and he seemed pretty well recovered from his horrific bus accident back in June of 2014. Once you hear that someone sustained brain damage, you automatically cringe and think they’re screwed for life. He seems like he’s doing ok. Morgan joked that he thinks he actually might have gained a few IQ points since the crash.
Welcome back, Tracy. Hopefully the accident knocked that intent to stab your son to death if he ever came out as gay out of your head. (Yes, the chip on my shoulder is massive. I’m working on it in therapy.)
The cast of 30 Rock united for the cold open (except for Lutz which was a damn shame):
And Tracy Morgan also resurrected Brian Fellow! (Note from Michael: That attention whoring camel really needs to be a regular cast member):
And here’s Tracy, his wife Megan Wollover,
Bernie Sanders Larry David, Jane Krakowski, two Jonai, Demi Lovato and Gigi Hadid outside of the after-party.