For those keeping track, Donda: With Child is still undelivered when by this point, Kanye West should already be thinking about getting on a waiting list if he wants it to get into a good preschool. But I get it, Kanye’s been very, very, very busy. Not only is he running a [insert adjective of your choice] presidential campaign, according to a slew of recent tweets, he’s also Moses, Nat Turner, and “the 2nd richest black man in America” who is tirelessly working to free his people. His “people” being exclusive to any other rich Black man in America. So you’ll have to excuse him if his album won’t be out until Sony and Universal release him from his contract and Drake apologizes to him for, I don’t know, being richer than him I guess. Folks, as usual, it’s a mess.
If you needed a reminder that you are doing nothing with your life, cultural icon Blue Ivy Carter just won an NAACP Image award, adding another highlight to her resume (that also includes, in bold font, being the daughter of Jay Z and Beyonce). Well, it wasn’t an award for shadiest side-eye, or best example of public civility and manners, it was for SONGWRITING AND SINGING!
STOP THE PRESSES! Adele went to a fancy Oscars after-party hosted by Madonna’s manager Guy Oseary. And people had a lot to say about her skinnier body. Again.
Hear ye! Hear ye! Jay-Z needs to clear something up! At the Super Bowl on Sunday, Jay-Z and Beyoncé sat during Demi Lovato‘s performance of The National Anthem. Many rolled their eyes at Jay-Z’s empty gesture since he previously said that “we” were past kneeling. Well, listen up, Jay-Z and his family were in no way, shape or form protesting police brutality and making a statement about the atrocities black people face in America. They were NOT. Do not get it twisted. They were only thinking of the capitalist venture of which they were a part of. That’s it! Jay-Z spoke at Columbia University and let the world know that he only cares about the Super Bowl! Okay?!
Jennifer Lopez And Roc Nation Reportedly Clashed Over That Border Crisis Statement During The Super Bowl Halftime Show (UPDATE)
Jennifer Lopez and Shakira turned the Super Bowl LIV halftime show into an extravaganzaaaaa. They shook their thangs, brought the memes, worked the pole, and made a political statement about immigration in the U.S. But that last part was a bit iffy for some involved in the show, namely Jay-Z. It’s now being reported that Jay-Z and Jennifer bumped heads over the whole latin-kids-singing-about-being-American-while-trapped-in-cages thing. He wanted her to not do that. But the only thing Jennifer Lopez doesn’t do? Is drive to the Oscars.
When it was announced that Demi Lovato was going to continue her comeback by singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, I nearly did my part as a lover of animal friends by passing around ear plugs to the dogs in the neighborhood since sometimes her scream-singing probably makes a dog feel like they’re getting raw fucked in the ear by an entire fireworks show. While some hoped that Demi would scream-sing so hard that she’d scream-sing off those thirty layers of roasted Oompa Loompa Bronzer on her, Demi kept the scream-singing mostly under control and did the National Anthem good. On a scale from Roseanne to Whitney, she was definitely much, much closer to Whitney. Although, if Demi’s vocal cords were possessed by a constipated demon with laryngitis and she sang the National Anthem while getting a bikini wax, she’d still sound a million times better than Roseanne.
And as Demi let out a stream of patriotic music notes, Beyonce and Jay-Z stayed sitting as though Joaquin Phoenix won another award in front of them.