I assumed the only thing Beyoncé and Jay-Z curtsied to was cold hard cash (and maybe whatever VH1 Behind The Music producer was able to give a catty “Where are they now?!” segment to Farrah Franklin), but at this year’s Brit Awards, they showed they have a soft spot in their hearts for Duchess Meghan, probably because they want her ass to be in one of those perfume ad-esque videos they play at an upcoming On The Run tour.
Duchess Meghan enjoyed a dinner at Ralph Lauren’s Polo Bar restaurant last night following day one of her tacky two-day American baby shower hosted by her tacky American friends. I’m surprised they still had an appetite after a playing the “Name That Poop” melted candy bar in a diaper game but they somehow still managed to dine. Joining Meghan at dinner was good friend Serena Williams who also attended the first shower. According to The Cut, Meghan’s surprise trip to New York City is winding down and she’s expected to leave the city today after her second show and probably after making a pit stop at a bodega for a sack full of bacon egg and cheese sammies for the plane.
Things are getting so bad in the royal family that Duchess Meghan had to flee jolly ol’ England to go shame eat at the Olive Garden in Times Square. I’m only kidding, that’s just me projecting my own go-to stress relief. The friends Meghan had before marrying Prince Harry wanted to host a baby shower for her. Rather than fly to England to make things easy for the pregnant lady, they made her come to New York City for her baby shower. What great people!
If Duchess Kate is smart, she’ll inventory all the good shit at Kensington Palace because Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan are on the fast track out of there, and the official split between Harry and Prince William’s joint professional royal household will go down in a matter of weeks. She can’t risk Meghan making off with Queen Mary’s good silver!
George Clooney Thinks The Media Is Vilifying Duchess Meghan And It’s Becoming A Princess Diana Situation
In case you didn’t know from George and Amal Clooney cheesing it up at the royal wedding and his Kentucky cousin saying that he’d be a perfect godfather to the royal ginger American baby, the Clooneys are friends with the Duke and Duchess of Suckit. So while promoting his new Hulu series Catch-22 at the Winter TCA, Australian magazine WHO asked him if he’s going to be the godfather to Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s baby. George let out a, “No!“, before laughing and then crying while thinking about how if he was that baby’s godfather, he could somehow convince PHG and Meghan to name the kid Duke or Duchess Casamigos. George then got serious and called for the media to stop relentlessly dragging Duchess Meghan.
At the rate he’s going, the only thing from Duchess Meghan that her father, Thomas Markle, hasn’t shared is a dryer sheet she once used for some laundry, but that’s probably because he lost the key to the storage unit where he keeps it. Right after Meghan forced her friends to cough up a few reasons of why she’s the shit was profiled in People as being a totally kind princess who just happens to fire off sunrise missives to staffers, there was chatter that she sent her dad a letter last year begging him to quit his media-whoring shit. Rather than let people speculate, Thomas coughed up the letter to most likely earn his weekly payment from British tabloids.