“Bitches, don’t leave, you’re the only fun ones in this joint!” is what Prince Louis is screaming at Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan as they get banished to Africa!
Today is the first anniversary of the born day of Prince Louis (that’s the third kid royale that Prince William and Duchess Kate made), and just like they did with their other kids, they released pictures of him taken by his mom at their country home earlier this month. I do love that Kate and her team added that shit to his sweater to make him look like a regular. Or maybe his older brother Prince George threw that shit at him right before Kate took the pic. Probably the second one.
Above is a pic from Easter service yesterday of Duchess Kate laughing at something that leaped out of Prince Hot Ginge’s mouth, and if you believe the reports, he’s saying to her, “Bitch, I see you got your nasty slut of a man covering his dick so it won’t wander into the pussy of one of your friends again!”, while she laughs like, “Bitch, shouldn’t you be at home helping your wife pack her ugly clothes since we’re about to banish both of your asses from OUR kingdom!”
There were reports that PHG and Prince William still hate each other, and didn’t speak at all during Easter service (Duchess Meghan wasn’t there since she’s due to birth out the royal ginger baby any day now). That may have been because Prince William and his minions are reportedly working on a plan to send PHG and Duchess Meghan far, far away because he’s jealous of their fame.
Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry are not going to feed into your strange desire to see their newborn baby three seconds after the kid is pulled out of her. It was reported that Meghan was thinking about having a home birth and it looks like that’s happening. It’s also been confirmed that you will all just have to wait to see what that scrunched up, crying, lump of person looks like after it violently fights against leaving the comfort of Meghan’s womb. Because once she gives birth, Meghan has no intention of getting into hair and makeup and parading the newborn in front of you.
Duchess Meghan is looking into doing her birth (gasp!) her way. She’s reportedly exploring the possibility of pushing out the seventh in line to The Crown at home and going the GOOP route by using a more holistic approach to keep the OUCHES at bay. And just like that, the labor and delivery wards of the UK are joining the media in proclaiming that Duchess Meghan ruins EVERYTHING.
Go ahead and hit play on this before you proceed (you can thank/curse me later). In case you haven’t waited in line at a grocery store of late and have not seen the earth shattering news printed on the front page of People Magazine that Prince Harry and Prince William’s households will be torn asunder, then let me break it to you gently. You see, even when two princes love each other very much, they sometimes need a little space to do their own thing and become their own people. The time has come to William and Harry to see other people naked. We, well to be exact, People, call this a ROYAL RIFT.
So The Daily Mail is dragging Duchess Meghan today, because they say Our Pretty Little Royal Pony has decided to use her own lady gynecologist instead of old dude royal gynecologists that I guess every pregnant royal, including Duchess Kate, THE QUEEN and Anne Boleyn have used to yank the royal babies out of their royal vagines. And just like that, the Duchess Meghan Is Faking Her Pregnancy truthers got some more ammunition.