THE QUEEN may be cheering on Duchess Meghan from the sidelines (and asking the rest of the family to give her a T so she can proceed to cheer-spell out THOMAS MARKLE SUCKS), but that doesn’t mean The Queen is a fan of Duchess Meghan’s wardrobe. Meghan’s clothing has gotten her in trouble in the past, specifically her pants. And it’s not because horny Prince Harry keeps asking Meghan if she’s wearing space pants, due to the fact that her ass is out of this world.
“The hell?!?,” Meghan’s former dog Bogart barked angrily after hearing this news.
People reports that the pants-wearing attempted British Monarchy destroyer Duchess Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have adopted a dog. The pooch (whose name isn’t known yet – Prince Woofington?) is believed to be a Labrador, and they took him from a rescue shelter to riches earlier this summer.
What do you know, Thomas Markle is back at it, running his mouth off like his jaw has a lifetime warranty. Thomas recently took a break from dragging his daughter Duchess Meghan to rip on the Royal Family and compare them to a cult. And just think: it was barely four days ago when the Royal’s most recent worry about Mr. Markle was the thought of seeing one of their gardeners in a Thomas Markle original hoodie.
The nerve of that old drama queen! So many people have been waiting for a call from Prince Harry for decades now (step-mom Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall, his real dad James Hewitt, Michael K) and this bitch actually received that call and HUNG UP? (Can you guess which one of those aforementioned people sent Harry full-body boudoir shots of themselves with their phone number drunkenly scrawled across the ass?) Duchess Meghan Markle’s difficult dad Thomas Markle told The Daily Mail that he once hung up on Prince Harry during a phone call about his bullshit staged photo shoot prior to the royal wedding.
Duchess Meghan turned 37 on Saturday. If Duchess Meghan was your sister, you might wish her a Happy Birthday with a card or a phone call, but if you’re like Samantha Markle and don’t currently have her address or phone number, you might do it over Twitter. Samantha Markle did that a day before Meghan’s birthday. But UsWeekly says that instead of wishing Meghan the best, she called her “Cruella de Vil.”
Being a normal American actress who landed a hot royal like Prince Harry might seem like a perpetual dream of afternoon champagne and corgi butlers, but Duchess Meghan has learned fast that it’s also a bureaucratic nightmare filled with stuffy rules and formalities. No bare shoulders! No touching! Never not be wearing pantyhose! According to a source that spoke with People magazine, Meghan is having a hard time accepting some of the more outdated rules.