Category: Keith Urban

Being Married To Tom Cruise Gave Nicole Kidman Protection In Hollywood

October 16, 2018 / Posted by:

For New York Magazine’s Women & Power issue, Nicole Kidman talked all about her time in Hollywood, working with women and her experiences with #MeToo-related fuckery. Nicole talks about her “power” in the movie industry and how Tom Cruise helped her achieve it. No, not through the telekinetic abilities she developed through Scientology; she only uses those on weekends when she fights crime.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Thought Keith Urban Was Broke And Paid For His Snacks 

August 7, 2018 / Posted by:

When Keith Urban was part-judge, part-referee during the delightful Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey season of American Idol, his scruffy appearance did seem a little like the guy begging for spare change outside the 7-11 at the end of my block compared to the wig-and-sequin extravaganza elsewhere at that judging desk. Well, fast forward several years, and a Good Samaritan in New Jersey must still think this because she mistook Keith for a drifter and paid for his food at a WaWa – and they say good manners only exist in the South! Continue reading

Nicole Kidman Says A No Texting Rule Keeps Things Hot With Her And Keith Urban

June 29, 2018 / Posted by:

I must have had a lobotomy in the last decade because somehow Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman have been married since 2006 – longer than her marriage to Tom Cruise! A lesser person would give Nicole a gold medal for the beard Olympics, but not me! I’m gonna give a golf clap considering that marriage has lasted through better or worse, sickness and health, Big Little Lies and Grace Of Monaco – not to mention some funky clapping! Alas, Nicole says don’t blame the longevity of her marriage on the strength of their vows. Blame it on an embargo on iMessage! Continue reading


The Fashion And Folly Of The American Music Awards

November 20, 2017 / Posted by:

The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.

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Open Post: Hosted By Iman Working The Hell Out Of A Glamorous Purple Ruffled Alien Growth

November 14, 2017 / Posted by:

The difference between goddesses and us peasants is that when peasants like myself wake up with a giant purple ruffled wart on our shoulder, we go down to the free clinic with a list of our past fuck partners while trying to remember which one of them rubbed their dirty dick on our shoulder. But when goddesses wake up with a giant purple ruffed wart on their shoulder, they work it to the core at an event and bring the people to their knees.

Iman put the glamour in Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards in NYC last night when she slid along the red carpet in a Christian Siriano gown that made her look like that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur if that ultra glamorous Jurassic Park dinosaur got a fairy godmother to turn them into a human goddess. Iman also looks like the most gorgeous venus fly trap that ever sprouted from the earth, and if they ever do that Little Shop of Horrors remake, she can play Audrey II. But instead of eating humans, she causes them to pass out from the power of her pose skills.

Here’s more from last night’s Women of the Year Awards. Nobody can touch Iman and her ruffled fortune cookie, but I am into Nicole Kidman’s tits beneath my wings dress.


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