Slap me on the ass and call me mother. He’s running. It looks like Chance The Rapper has his sights set on becoming the Mike Pence of the Kanye West administration. Unlike millions of Americans who don’t have the time or mental bandwidth for Kanye’s bullshit right now, Chance is apparently taking his Chicago brethren’s possibly bipolar episode induced declaration of candidacy seriously. Vulture reports that Chance’s bid to become Kanye’s Secretary of Hotepery began when he retweeted a video for Kanye’s latest single Donda (a tribute to Kanye’s late mother) with the statement “And yall out here tryna convince me to vote for Biden. Smfh.” He then posed a series of questions to his followers and asked “can someone explain why Joe Biden would be better??”
In the world of celebrity rap beefs, one of the most bitter wars has taken place between bootylicious rappers Nicki Minaj and Cardi B. Their feud has brought on headline after headline after headline after headline after headline.
Well, as entertaining as that messiness is, apparently they may have both been pulling our dicks. Because according to boy-next-door lyricist Chance The Rapper, their beef is all smoke, mirrors, and lies.
Nicki Minaj is featured on a new Chance the Rapper track and hints in the lyrics that she might be pregnant by and about to marry Kenneth “Zoo” Petty, her registered sex offender/admitted slaughterer-of-men boyfriend. People make mistakes but attempted rape AND killing? She’s a forgiving sort.
Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
There are still a few episodes left of Surviving Surviving R. Kelly, the reality show we’re currently living where artists who’ve worked with R. Kelly try to distance themselves from him. The last episode with Lady Gaga was kind of bullshit, and today’s episode starring Kanye West and Kim Kardashian is even worse. And Celine Dion being in it didn’t really help all that much either. Not even the Greatest Singer In Da World could save this shit show! According to Complex, Kanye was performing at a Sunday Service event where he sat on a stool and mumbled some shit while a choir sang a few of his songs. During one of the mumbling bits, Kanye made some observations about separating the art from the artist, indirectly alluding to R. Kelly and Michael Jackson.
John Legend finally has some company sitting over there on the Fuck R. Kelly Bench. Chance The Rapper appeared on the final episode of Lifetime’s documentary Surviving R. Kelly and apologized for having worked with him on his 2015 song “Summer in Paradise”. His apology didn’t come controversy-free though. Not only was it a week late and $20 short (if you’re not matching Vince Staples’ energy, you’re not doing enough), Rolling Stone magazine quoted Chance saying he “didn’t value the accusers’ stories because they were Black women“, which as you might imagine, didn’t go over very well. Chance says he words were taken out of context and redirected people to the full interview he gave to journalist Jamilah Lemieux back in May.