Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
For the first time in furstory, RuPaul needs to tell both Mufasa (James Earl Jones) and Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to sashay away. The time came for them to lipsync for their lives, and they both fucked it up. In the first full-length trailer for Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, it’s impossible to tell what is a voiceover and what is supposed to be coming out of them critters’ mouths. Sorry, Disney. This is not an improvement. I honestly think they’ve made a grave mistake. None of this looks right to me. In the original, Simba smiled to express joy. You cannot have a realistic lion smile, it would be positively ghoulish. So they’ve all got weird, stiff mouths and they should have kept their veils on.
According to HITS Daily Double, next year’s Coachella will be headlined by Justin Timberlake, Childish Gambino (aka Donald Glover), and current disaster in a red hat Kanye West.
There were a lot of faces being pulled in the audience at last night’s Emmy Awards ceremony. Most of the cringing and eye rolling caught on camera (Merritt Wever staring into the camera with the dead eyes of a bored teen, Chrissy Teigen ducking out of way) appeared to be in reaction to Colin Jost’s invisible lips and Michael Che’s invisible charm. But one member of the audience looked like he was having the time of his life. In a surprise appearance, the legendary Teddy Perkins somehow managed to leave his palatial home in Atlanta and fly halfway across the country to attend the ceremony! I didn’t even realize he was still alive. I thought he had choked on a globule of ostrich egg.
Even though getting mocked on Saturday Night Live makes Donald Trump rage, his BFF Kanye West doesn’t seem to mind the comedic ribbing. Donald Glover hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend, and they redid A Quiet Place as A Kanye Place, where that monster picks off the victims once they screech over whatever Trump-fapping or slavery nonsense Kanye had said. Surprisingly, he took to Twitter to praise the bit and not go ham like he did last week. Continue reading
Donald Glover spent most of 2017 collecting awards (Golden Globes and Emmys), getting cast as Simba, and pretending to be Lando Calrissian. 2018 is already shaping up to be big as well. The second season of FX’s Atlanta happens in March. Incidentally, 2018 is also the year Donald Glover proved to everyone that Donald Glover isn’t afraid to tell an interviewer what kind of bullshit he’s put up with from who.