The Lion Speaks Tonight In The New Full Length Trailer For “The Lion King”

April 10, 2019 / Posted by:

For the first time in furstory, RuPaul needs to tell both Mufasa (James Earl Jones) and Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to sashay away. The time came for them to lipsync for their lives, and they both fucked it up. In the first full-length trailer for Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, it’s impossible to tell what is a voiceover and what is supposed to be coming out of them critters’ mouths. Sorry, Disney. This is not an improvement. I honestly think they’ve made a grave mistake. None of this looks right to me. In the original, Simba smiled to express joy. You cannot have a realistic lion smile, it would be positively ghoulish. So they’ve all got weird, stiff mouths and they should have kept their veils on.

Disney has been hyping this for three fucking years. Was it worth it? For Disney, yes I’m sure it is. Hardcore Lion King stans are already losing their shit with excitement. This trailer offers a first listen of Seth Rogen and Billy Eichner as Timon and Pumba, but they must be saving the hot Simba (Donald Glover) and Nala (Beyoncé) action for the next trailer.

Oh, who am I kidding. It’s got everything! 90s nostalgia: check! Disney nostalgia: check! Lion King nostalgia: check, check, check! The only things missing are charm and originality. Here’s an example of how flat the new one looks juxtaposed with the original.

And some have pointed out that this new version robs itself of a whole host of auxiliary story telling tools by rendering the environment and characters so realistically.

To me, The Lion King 2019 looks like the Red Dead Redemption version of that “Old Town Road video but set in the jungle. If a lil rapper like Lil Nas X can do it just as well using a PlayStation, you’ve really screwed up somewhere along the line.

Pic: YouTube

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