SAG-AFTRA President Fran Drescher Applauds Disney’s Decision To Lift Its Vaccine Mandate On Sets, And Yes, People Had Thoughts
After a contentious battle, Fran Drescher, the former flashy girl from Flushing on The Nanny, ascended to power as the president of Hollywood’s biggest union SAG-AFTRA after beating opponent Matthew Modine. Yes, I was just as surprised as you were to discover this nugget of knowledge because, for me, she’ll always be the gaudy governess on a constant mission to fuck her boss while raising his children in a daily uniform of elegant heels and Aquanet. Unfortunately, the Fran we know from television ain’t the same as this new President Fran, as she has recently applauded Disney for lifting its COVID vaccine mandate. And while some are with Fran, others are not so FranFine about her message.
We live in an era of constant reboots and remakes because Hollywood finally figured out that releasing the same story repeatedly generates revenue. And Jamie Lee Curtis has decided to take a hiatus from roasting big-headed celebrities to pitch an update for her 2003 hit comedy Freaky Friday. Jamie Lee revealed during an interview with The View that she has been in talks with Disney about a sequel, and once Lindsay Lohan heard the ding from the cash register inside her head, she immediately let everyone know she’s ready to switch bodies from Broke Broad into Rich Bitch!
A Texas mom (a phrase which to me, reads as ominously as “Florida man”) has chosen Disney+’s Hocus Pocus 2 as the vehicle to ensure that she and her family will get to park their sanctimonious asses in their favorite pew indefinitely since church attendance is presumably down due to the increasingly hard-to-defend buffoonery of modern-day Christian fundies. Jamie Gooch (yes, GOOCH) recently shat out a long Facebook post that’s gone viral for warning parents against allowing Hocus Pocus 2 into their homes and also appeared on a news station to spread the word further.
Since Disney has pissed off an army of bottom-feeding racist trolls by casting Halle Bailey as Ariel in the upcoming live-action The Little Mermaid movie, they figured why not further piss off the small-minded cretins by casting a Black lead in their small-screen ABC live-action/animated hybrid Beauty and the Beast: A 30th Celebration special? Oscar-winning musician, H.E.R., snagged the lead role of Belle in the production. But, since she’s a bookworm, the scalawags who are pissed about Ariel may not consider Belle sacred since books are their Kryptonite. While many other celebs have signed on, castle head-bitch-in-charge, Mrs. Potts, was yet-to-be-determined, but Variety reports that iconic country star Shania Twain is in final talks to take on the role of the self-righteous teapot who tells everyone how to live their lives but couldn’t even prevent Chip from getting chipped.
Here Are The Trailers For Disney’s Live-Action “The Little Mermaid,” “Hocus Pocus 2,” And “Disenchanted”
Mickey Mouse probably lived it up last night by popping bottles and making it rain Disney dollars on twerking mice at Disneyland’s Club 33. Because the trailers for several movies that are going to make his greedy ass even richer were released. D23 Expo, the event where Disney drops trailers and info for their upcoming projects, is happening this weekend in Anaheim, CA. And yesterday, Disney released the teaser trailer for its live-action The Little Mermaid, and full trailers for Hocus Pocus 2 and the Enchanted sequel called Disenchanted. There was also an appearance by one of Disenchanted‘s stars, Patrick Dempsey, who served snow daddy realness.
Like Pinnochio, the book Winnie The Pooh by A.A. Milne has recently entered the public domain meaning Disney’s vice grip on those properties has slipped enough that Guillermo del Toro has a competing Pinnochio movie coming to Netflix and some sicko with a honey fetish has Pooh and Piglet running around with axes making mincemeat out of women in the new horror film Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. Personally, I’d prefer to see WTP turned into a porno based on that time he got his ass stuck in Rabbit’s gloryhole, but I suppose that probably already exists.