Looks like Nick Cannon’s baby-making habit has pissed off at least one of the mothers of his children–the original one, in fact. Queen of Christmas (One of many!) Mariah Carey is reportedly going to file for primary custody of their 11-year-old twins, Morocco and Monroe. The couple has been divorced since 2014 and has never fought publicly about custody stuff, so I mean… I WONDER WHY Mariah is suddenly like, “These kids need to stay with me.” Surely, it’s not related to Nick just welcoming his 12th baby to this Hellohole known as Earth. Well, it’s not like Nick has time for all these kids anyway. And having joint custody of 10/12 kids is still a good percentage!
For what is probably the last time this year, Nick Cannon has welcomed a new baby into his life, bringing the total number of “cannonball cuties” he’s shot into the world, via an assortment of wombs, to an impressive twelve. People reports that model Alyssa Scott gave birth to a baby girl named Halo Marie Cannon on December 14, just one year after she and Nick said goodbye to baby Zen, who tragically died from brain cancer at five months. Halo joins big sister Zeela, Alyssa’s 4-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, along with ten other siblings from Nick’s ongoing relationship with his dick and balls.
Nick Cannon is known for many things. Actually, scratch that. Nick Cannon is primarily known for not putting a rubber on it and adding about 1% humans more to the global population. Every year (at minimum!), we’re introduced to a new member of the Cannon brood and treated to a picture of Nick and child wearing matching onesies. However, behind the smiles, Nick is secretly sad that he doesn’t spend all that much time with his children. It gets difficult when you have more kids than days of the week!
If you were out and about this weekend and things didn’t seem as overpopulated as they normally would, it might’ve been because Nick Cannon was indisposed and unable to spontaneously reproduce. In some Papa Nick news that’s shockingly not another “we’re expecting” announcement (although the day is still young), Nick posted on Instagram that he landed in the hospital with pneumonia on Friday but is on the mend.
Nick Cannon just welcomed his 11th child with his 12th on the way, and you know his balls are probably ready to unleash the 13th into yet another uterus. And to the owner of that uterus, I beg: Please don’t. And Nick’s accountant is probably begging the same thing because Nick says that he pays “a lot more” than $3 million a year for his brood of children. Yeah, imagine if even a fraction of these kids plan on going to college–he’ll be bankrupt!
Another day, another Nick Cannon baby. Yes, we’ve all lost count, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Nick has, too. Only this past September, he and Brittany Bell welcomed his 10th child, and yesterday, it was revealed that Abby De La Rosa just popped out his 11th. But that’s not all! Another woman Alyssa Scott is still pregnant with his 12th, who will likely be arriving next year. Nick genuinely has enough kids now for a full soccer and football team, and once the 12th arrives, a basketball team! Let’s hope he’s not working on filling up the bench.