Sources Claim That Emily Ratajkowski Had Already Broken Up With Eric Andre Before His Valentine’s Day Post
With St. Patrick’s Day fast approaching, Emily Ratajkowski is taking no chances with Eric “Mr. Shenanigans” André, who might try to use the holiday to promote their conjoined asses (well, her ass, his tumtum) on Instagram like he did on Valentine’s Day when he shared a cheeky nude mirror pic. Many to that pic as a confirmation of their love. But according to E! News, a source claims that Emily had already broken up with him “days before he posted that photo” and that “she had nothing to do with the posting.” It’s a good thing Emily doesn’t mind people looking at her ass. But apparently, she no longer wishes to be, in any shape or form, even remotely and or tangentially, associated with that other ass. The lengths people will go to distance themselves from Chester Hanks are truly remarkable!
Anti-vaxxer and current stand-in for Kanye West, Chet Hanks, was labeled “emotionally disturbed” by comedian Eric Andre in his recent interview with Rolling Stone. If the guy who pretends to shit on the floor in front of his talk show guest thinks you’re fucked up, you must be a real sicko. While being interviewed by Rolling Stone about his upcoming sixth season of The Eric Andre Show and simultaneously doing back-to-back whippets because he “has a headache,” Emily Ratajkowski’s one-time piece didn’t hold back when it came to his experience interviewing Chet Hanks. And no one even asked about it… Eric just got right into it. Apparently, Chet was such a hazard that Eric compared having him on set to the movie set of Rust. Don’t worry, Chet; daddy can text Alec Baldwin for his lawyer’s number.
Comedian Eric André is the latest famous-type to get involved with Emily Ratajkowski, who’s been in her “romantically prolific” period since splitting with her pumpkin eater husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, back in July. Early last month, 31-year-old Emily and 39-year-old Eric were papped on a dinner date. A couple of weeks later, they were spotted making out on vacation in the Cayman Islands. Now Valentine’s Day has rolled around, and Page Six reports these two are still going strong! Eric proved this by posting pre-Valentine’s photos of him and Emily relaxing at home in the buff. Huh. I give them two more weeks. Continue reading
Jesus Christ, here we go again! Every few weeks, Emily Ratajkowski is linked to a new man, and my typing fingers are tired of coming up with clever ways to report on her romantic hijinks. Today, we create a go-to intro template for all future EmRata romances because enough is enough! Earlier this month, Emily and [comedian] [Eric André] were papped on a date at a [Japanese restaurant] in [New York]. [Page Six] now reports that the pair were spotted [kissing] on [vacation] in [the Cayman Islands]. Emily wore a [revealing bikini] and [two-toned bucket hat]. Since splitting from her cheater husband, Sebastian Bear-McClard, last July, EmRata has been connected to [Brad Pitt], [Pete Davidson], [DJ Orazio Rispo], and [artist Jack Greer]. Is [Eric Andre] just another fling, or is [Ratadré] here to stay? Only time will tell!
We’re used to seeing comedian Eric André performing publicity stunts for laughs on a regular basis, but what he allegedly experienced at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport in Atlanta was not amusing at all. Eric claims back in 2021, as he walked the dreaded shaky corridor from the gate to the doors of the plane, he was stopped by two men. He probably thought to himself, “I don’t have time for autographs,” but unfortunately for Eric, neither did they. Instead, they stopped him for a quick search to see if he was carrying illegal drugs onto the flight. That’s when Eric’s Woke-O-Meter rang out louder than the bells of freedom, especially once he realized he was the only Black person around at the time. Now, he’s calling upon the power of the ancestors to help him sue the pants off of Clayton County Police Department for their blatant racial profiling.
Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.