Now we know why Disney decided to do an all-CGI remake (although, it’s supposed to be GAME CHANGING!) of their cartoon movie The Lion King. It isn’t just because those greedy overlords at Disney knew that they could throw their logo on any summertime movie and it’ll allow them to say, “Sure, order four!”, with ease when Mickey Mouse calls asking if he can order another crate of vintage Dom Perignon while partying with his side-hos and Leonardo DiCaprio on his yacht in Italy somewhere. They knew that if they got Beyonce to graciously possess the body of a CGI Nala with her ethereal holiness, they might also get her to make an entire Lion King album, and then they’d make even more money.
Well, Mickey Mouse can go ahead and make it rain $1,000 cashiers checks instead of $100 bills on his yacht girls this summer, because Beyonce (and her ghost curators) has curated an entire album inspired by The Lion King.
Orlando Brown has been through it recently. And by ‘it’ I mean some kind of a heavy drug-induced psychosis. After being ignored for the That’s So Raven reboot because he thought Raven-Symone was still in love with him, Orlando got arrested by a bounty hunter who was chasing after him for skipping court on domestic abuse and controlled substance charges. So things have obviously been a wild ride post-Disney channel.
Back in May, Orlando revealed on social media that he had gone ahead and dove deep into the drugs by getting a tattoo of Raven’s face on his neck. Wonder if Raven saw this coming? Get it? Because she’s psychic? Well, she’s seen it now.
Entertainment Tonight caught up with Raven on the red carpet of the Radio Disney Music Awards and demanded a comment. When asked what she made of Orlando’s permanent reminder of her undying love she replied: “I make of… the second season of That’s So Raven will be coming out July 25! Bye!”
Look at her! This sexual tension is exhilarating. She was so flustered she thought that it was 2004! Raven is clearly in love with Orlando Brown, I see it now. What will their celebrity couple name be? Ralando Symbrown? Orven Browmone? They’ve got a few options!
If your eyes read that as “Orlando Bloom,” then I hate to break the bad news to you that this post doesn’t hold a picture of Legolas with a That’s So Raven tattoo inked into his left tit. Although, Orly’s got a sparkling anus tattoo, so nothing would surprise me.
Orlando Brown is the child actor turned throbbing mess who played Raven’s friend on That’s So Raven in the early-aughts. Orlando returned to the camera last month when he got his mug shot taken after a bounty hunter caught him in his chonies at a house in Las Vegas and shuffled him off to the police station. Orlando was wanted after he failed to show up to court to answer to domestic abuse and possession of a controlled substance charges.
That “possession of a controlled substance” shit explains this next part. Orlando said in the past that he wasn’t asked to be on the That’s So Raven reboot called Raven’s House in 2016 because he and Raven-Symone still have feelings for each other but that she’s denying their love and is “running from the D.” She’s running from the D, alright. The D attached to a damn fucking crazy.
When Orlando was arrested for allegedly beating his girlfriend in a parking lot, he complained that Raven didn’t bail him out or call him. Even though it seems like Raven would rather hire an assistant named Watermelondrea than remember that Orlando Brown exists, he decided it would be a really good idea to get her child face tattooed onto his chest. And on this episode of That’s So Creepy…
Orlando Brown tattoos Raven Symone's face on his chest pic.twitter.com/L8IkSLdmBB
— say cheese (@Saycheese_Media) May 29, 2018
How sweet. Raven should really return the favor and get an Orlando Brown tattoo on her chest. Specifically, a tattoo of a restraining order with the name Orlando Brown on it.
Former Disney actor Orlando Brown was arrested in his underwear by a bounty hunter named Lucky. If that isn’t the premise of a sub-standard comedy vehicle comeback starring Martin Lawrence, I don’t know what is.
Because The View can’t keep a co-host like your slutty cousin Jessica can’t keep a damn man (yes, that was me doing an impersonation of your drunk aunt), they have lost yet another one of their pecking hens. At the beginning of today’s episode of The View, Raven-Symone announced that after a year and-a-half of filling that show with her own brand of fooolery, she is leaving. “Adios, Crow-Spumoni!” said Whoopi Goldberg, who probably doesn’t even bother learning the names of the newbies since they’ll be gone in a minute.
On The View last week, Raven-Symoné’s silent-accented-e-having ass once again proved that she’s got a bird brain to go with her bird hair and bird name when she said out loud that she believes in name discrimination and would never hire someone whose parents named them something like “Watermelondrea.” Raven spit that out during a discussion about racial biased against “black names.” The View showed a video of kids blurting out a bunch of “ghetto” names and one of those names was Watermelondrea. Raven’s own dad called her out on Facebook and basically said that she’s a dispenser of dumb sometimes.