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Here Are Some Of The Looks From The Dueling Carpets From Last Night’s Oscar Celebrations
Two carpets, both alike in dignity
(In fair Hollywood, where we lay our scene),
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil shoes make civil rugs unclean.
It’s crazy how those words by William Shakespeare are still as true today as they were in 1996 when we finally understood them thanks to Baz Luhrmann‘s Romeo + Juliet. And this morning, as the sun rose over the detritus of last night’s Oscars celebrations, one carpet emerged victorious and unblemished by the unsightly stains of blood and mud and whatever it was that Fine Ass Jonathan Majors had in his tiny silver sipping cup. For reasons we may only understand after Baz makes a movie about it, after weeks of torrential rain, the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences decided this was the year to break with a 64-year tradition and pull the Red Carpet out from under our feet in exchange for a Champagne Industrial Rug. For revenge, Florence Pugh could barely be bothered to dress for the big event so she just brushed her ponytail to the front and grabbed a beige duvet cover out of the dirty laundry for the Oscars, saving her pink comforter for the Blue Carpet at the Vanity Fair after party.
Hugh Jackman Is Eating 8,000 Calories A Day To Become Wolverine Again For “Deadpool 3”
Were I but an elder fancy lad who loved to sing and dance, and money was no object, I’d simply do that. However, it seems that Hugh Jackman would rather turn his liver into human foie gras just so he can look Johnathan Majors in the eye and call him a “puny little, 6,000 calorie-a-day girlie-man.” Variety reports that Hugh Soontobejackedman has chosen to become Wolverine the hard way by saying “no thanks” to the roids and “yes please” to consuming 8,000 calories a day by mouth. And it’s not even for a Wolverine movie! It’s for fucking Deadpool 3. Hugh may be all about the gains, but I am at a loss.
Madonna Justified Her Love For Boxer Josh Hopper By Sharing A Photo Of Them Kissing
Last week Madonna was accused of wasting our time by pretending to have a new boyfriend just to promote the guy’s gym. But just because Madonna can still do all her own stunts, that doesn’t mean she has to resort to them. According to The Daily Mail, recent Instagram activity has proven that last week’s monthly Boy Toy reveal was not a stunt as previously suspected and was, in fact, a genuine expression of true love and fidelity between the 64-year-old pop icon and 29-year-old boxing gym owner Josh Popper. Mr. Popper was originally hired to coach Madonna’s 17-year-old son David Banda in boxing, but now Mr. Popper’s duties have been extended to include kissing David’s mom on the mouth.
Sarah Ferguson Might Present At The Oscars Thanks To Her Friendship With Lisa Marie Presley
The decidedly unhip British Invasion 2.0 continues apace with The Sun reporting that since she and her free-loading, no-rent paying roommate/ex-husband Prince Andrew got booted out of their Royal Lodge by his brother King Charles III, Sarah Ferguson aka Original Fergie, has been nosing around on this side of the pond, and has already “struck up a close friendship with” a “mysterious Texan billionaire” while “networking in the US.” And Fergie’s next conquest might take place at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony. The Sun reports that Fergie may even take the stage to hand out an award based on her “very close” friendship with the Presley family, recently-deceased Lisa Marie Presley in particular. My, my, my; m’lady sure does get around!
Johnny Depp Is Selling Doodles He Made Of His Dead “Friends & Heroes”
Say what you will about Johnny Depp’s teeth, skin and hair because whatever he may lack in hygiene, he more than makes up for in audacity, if not artistic talent. Variety reports that since the conclusion of the back-to-back lawsuits he instigated against The Sun and his ex-wife Amber Heard, Johnny’s been hard at work refilling his coffers by scribbling over photographs of public figures and selling them at a London art gallery for thousands of dollars. The collection, titled Friends & Heroes II aka Dead Men Can’t Sue, features the likenesses of Heath Ledger, Bob Marley, Hunter S. Thompson, and River Phoenix.
Selena Gomez Is Back To Posting On Social Media After More “Possible Shade” Drama With Justin And Hailey Bieber
Justin Bieber, the Him?iest Him? to ever Him?, inexplicably (to me at least, my 9-year-old niece would argue differently) remains at the center of a subtle shade feud that’s been playing out on social media between his Wife?, Hailey Baldwin and his extremely successful ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez. A few weeks back, Selena announced that she was taking a break from social media, noting the obvious fact that she’s “30 and am too old for this.” And now that she’s 0.1125 years older and 1,000 years wiser, she’s back with a message to her fans to “please, please be kinder and consider other people’s mental health,” admitting that her “heart has been heavy.” Girl, same. Things just haven’t been the same since Tuna and Sushi disappeared.