Ghislaine Maxwell’s Brother Shared A Photo That PROVES Prince Andrew Is Innocent Of Bath Time Footsies
When Johnnie Cochran asked his client OJ Simpson to stand up in court and try on that leather glove during his murder trial, Johnnie established an (allegedly) bullet-proof “volume formula” defense for (allegedly) getting away with murder. And although Prince Andrew hasn’t been charged with a single solitary crime, he’s apparently using his contacts on the inside (of prison) to deploy a similar strategy in an effort to free himself from the shackles of unpopularity. According to The Daily Beast, Andrew’s “dear friend” Ghislaine Maxwell has apparently gotten her brother, Ian Maxwell, involved in Andrew’s life-or-ego death struggle for vindication.
Jolly ol’ London just got significantly less jolly for everyone’s least favorite royal (and that’s saying something), Prince Andrew. A “royal insider” tells Entertainment Tonight that King Charles III has finally kicked 62-year-old Andrew out of his “plush suite of rooms” at Buckingham Palace. These rooms include his royal apartment and office. The move comes over three years after Andrew stepped back from his royal duties and about a month after Charles reportedly made the decision not to let Andrew use his Buckingham Palace office. And while I imagined 74-year-old Charles physically throwing Andrew out the Buckingham Palace gates (a la Fresh Prince’s Uncle Phil and DJ Jazzy Jeff), it turns out Andrew wasn’t even using the suites. He’s currently living at the Royal Lodge at Windsor with his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson. Booo!
Prince Andrew Has Reportedly Raised Enough Funds To Prove He’s Never Met Virginia Giuffre In A Court Of Law
One might assume that Prince Andrew doesn’t have much left to lose after getting fired from the one job he was born to do, but according to The Sun, Andy’s coffers aren’t completely bare (again) even though his ex wife Original Fergie‘s lender of choice, The Bank of Epstein, went belly up in 2019 and Andrew’s most reliable source of income, his mummy THE QUEEN, left him high and dry to go play with her corgis in the sky. Thankfully for Andrew, mummy didn’t leave him penniless and he’s presumed to have inherited “several million” from her. Andrew and Fergie also reportedly made £10 million from the sale of their Swiss Chalet. Add in all the money he’s saved on food and rent over the course of his life thanks to the astonishing generosity of the British taxpayer, even if you subtract the reported £3-£6 million he paid to settle Virginia Giuffre’s lawsuit against him plus the cost of postage required to keep in touch with his “dear friend” Ghislaine Maxwell, who is serving 20 years in a Florida prison for sex trafficking, why he’s almost got enough left over to slink away from public life never to be seen or heard from again. It worked for, Prince Harry, Great Britain’s 2nd most superfluous Spare, now didn’t it?
Prince Harry Says That Camilla Planted Positive Stories In The Press To “Rehabilitate Her Image” As The “Villain”
In case you couldn’t tell by the 12,384,965,999 headlines about Prince Harry’s tell-all (and that’s a low ass estimate), Prince Harry has a tell-all, Spare, out this week. Penguin Random House reportedly paid Harry $20 million for his memoir, and sources claim it needs to sell at least 1.7 million copies to break even. So Harry is out there hustling like the mortgage on Chateau de Bottom-Joined Palm Trees was due last week. His interviews with 60 Minutes and ITV aired yesterday, his talk with Good Morning America came out today, and he’s on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert tomorrow night. All that peddling may be paying off because Spare is currently #1 on Amazon’s best-selling books list, even though it feels like every word of that book has already leaked. What else is there to read? Well, apparently, there’s more, including Harry accusing his stepmother Queen Consort Camilla of being a throne-climbing opportunist who’d stop at nothing to get her diabolical paws on the crown. Breaking news, I know.
It’s Christmas weekend, and even if you don’t celebrate, I bring you good tidings of great joy! The Crown’s beloved son and alleged predator, Prince Andrew, has reportedly been kicked out of the palace. Looks like King Charles is doing some house cleaning, and the first action is to take out the trash! If this move is true, then Charles might become more popular than THE QUEEN (RIP). I won’t hold my breath, though. Andrew has a unique talent of worming his way back into his family’s graces. Scrounging off your family members is the easiest way to pay off your legal fees!
If Prince Andrew woke up this morning with his ears burning, it wasn’t because another one of his idiosyncratic war injuries was acting up. It’s because 4,000 miles away in a Tallahassee, Florida jail cell, a woman Andrew claims to barely know, Ghislaine Maxwell, gave an exclusive interview to The Daily Mail and expressed sympathy for what her “dear friend” has been going through ever since she was tried and convicted of sex trafficking a minor and to sentenced to serve 20 years in prison. And if that wasn’t proof enough that Andrew and that woman he claims Kevin Spacey invited to Buckingham Palace to sit on his now deceased mother, THE QUEEN’s throne, were actually, in fact, at one point, two spoiled-rotten peas in a pod, Ghislaine pulled a total Prince Andrew by complaining about the variety of fruit available to her at meal times. Continue reading