Category: High Art

A Romanian Influencer Responded To Claims That She Doesn’t Paint Her Own Works

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Meet Cristina Szeifert; artist, life coach, model, clinical psychologist, influencer, entrepreneur, and Tony Robbins acolyte. Emphasis on artist. It’s her PASSION! Not only is Cristina living her best life, the Romanian born renaissance woman has dedicated herself to helping others live theirs. Yet in this age of cynicism and rancor, Cristina’s manifold talents have recently come under scrutiny. According to BuzzFeed, a number of do-nothing talentless trolls have questioned Cristina’s artistic endeavors after noticing that many of the pictures she’s posted of herself in the act of creation looked suspiciously staged.

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Ansel Elgort Exposed His Selfie On Instagram

May 29, 2019 / Posted by:

Actor. Artist. DJ. Thirst trap? Those are all words that now come to mind when I think of Ansel Elgort (in addition to the apt anagram Legal Stoner). Ansel was apparently feeling himself in all his Muppet Babies Val Kilmer Real Genius era realness and #IgnitedInstagram with a series of topless selfies for reasons unknown to anybody other than Alsel Elgort. Fellow actor. Artist. Artist. DJ. Thirst Trap Idris Elba please take note and follow suit!

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Open Post: Hosted By A Dog Opera Directed By Tilda Swinton

October 26, 2018 / Posted by:

Only Tilda Swinton could post a 6-minute long video of her dogs on the internet and have it be dubbed high art. I mean sure, she appears to have used a very nice camera and scored it with an opera by Handel, but a dog video is a dog video. But it’s Tilda so it must be art! I have a feeling that if I posted a 6-minute video of my cat licking his pecker and set to “The Magic Flute”, I’d get flagged for content violation.

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Here’s Willem Dafoe As Vincent Van Gogh in “At Eternity’s Gate”

September 6, 2018 / Posted by:

There’s a trailer out for the Julian Schnabel directed Vincent van Gogh biopic called At Eternity’s Gate starring Willem Dafoe. Finally, Americans will have an answer to the age old question: is it pronounced van Go or van Goff? Have you been walking around saying “Van Go” like an unsophisticated colonial rube your whole life, or have you been putting a little English on it and pronouncing it “Van Goff”  like a continental rube your whole life? Here’s the trailer which also stars Danish snack Mads Mikkelsen as a priest (yes, Father I have sinned. I’m sinning myself as we speak), and American snack Oscar Isaac as Polynesian titty aficionado Paul Gauguin.

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Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga Getting Ghoulish For Instagram 

August 15, 2018 / Posted by:

With A Star Is Born coming out in a few months, Lady Gaga must think we forgot she’s not actually a normal brunette lady who wears jeans, eats turkey sandwiches, and only has like one nice going out purse. Her extreme reverse makeover for that film is the current version of Lady Gaga we are all walking around with in our heads and that is not O.K. To remind us all who the fuck she is, Ms. Gaga decided to pull a stunt and post some unsettling pictures on Instagram. A little something to wake the little monsters up in advance of her Las Vegas residency that’s scheduled to start in December. What’s perhaps more disturbing than the photos themselves, are the descriptions written by Billboard magazine in case you are too scared to actually look.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Beautification Of Saint George

July 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Some folks in Spain are fired up over the recent restoration of a 16th century statue of San Jorge (Saint George), a dragon slaying knight. St. George has been living in the Church of St. Michael in the town Estella for a minute. According to Huffington Post, he got to looking a little wan and tired, as you might expect after posting up in church for some 500 years. George needed a spa day like last century, so the church asked a local workshop to get him together. Off went Old Georgie for a little tune up, and he came back with his face beat for the God’s. However, some experts weren’t so pleased with the result. I guess Georgie boy isn’t supposed to look like Pee-wee Herman on a Quaalude bender.

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