Category: Foot Shit
Prince Andrew Is Reportedly “IN DESPAIR” Over Not Inheriting Any Of His Mummy THE QUEEN’s Estate
Since he’s absolutely done nothing wrong, I can understand why Prince Andrew, one of THE QUEEN’s only sons, is reportedly “in despair” that his rather homely older brother, King Charles III was the sole benefactor of their late mother THE QUEEN’s nearly $800M tax-free estate. Having myself been an only child, I can only imagine the humiliation and sadness he must feel. At least I got a 1999 Nissan Sentra when my mom kicked the bucket, but according to The Independent, Andrew has been left not only penniless but might be left with only his deceased father Prince Phillip’s Land Rover to drive. Which is indubitably haunted!
Sarah Ferguson Might Present At The Oscars Thanks To Her Friendship With Lisa Marie Presley
The decidedly unhip British Invasion 2.0 continues apace with The Sun reporting that since she and her free-loading, no-rent paying roommate/ex-husband Prince Andrew got booted out of their Royal Lodge by his brother King Charles III, Sarah Ferguson aka Original Fergie, has been nosing around on this side of the pond, and has already “struck up a close friendship with” a “mysterious Texan billionaire” while “networking in the US.” And Fergie’s next conquest might take place at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony. The Sun reports that Fergie may even take the stage to hand out an award based on her “very close” friendship with the Presley family, recently-deceased Lisa Marie Presley in particular. My, my, my; m’lady sure does get around!
Prince William Denounced “Racist Abuse” Against Black Football Players After England’s European Championship Loss
Prince William may not have participated in THAT conversation, but it looks like he is ready to have a different one where he acknowledges that racism in Britain actually exists. From the official Twitter account for The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, William tweeted that he is “sickened” by the “racist abuse” directed at the Black players on England’s soccer team after they lost to Italy in last night’s European Championship final. Just think how differently things might have worked between him and his brother Prince Harry had Meghan Markle just put on some knee pads and led the country to its “first international finals appearance in more than 50 years” (via NPR). William and Harry might be on much better terms now had William been sickened by racist abuse a little sooner.
Prince Andrew Is Having A Grand Old Time In Spain As Evidence Of An Epstein Mansion Foot Massage Comes Out
After trying to use his own mother THE QUEEN as a human shield (granted her hats do make for an effective barrier), Prince Andrew has enlisted the help of another woman in his life to make it seem like everything is very normal and fine. Timed oh-so conveniently with the release of a 2013 email which places Andrew in his pal (and current corpse) Jeffrey Epstein‘s Manhattan mansion getting a foot massage by two “young well-dressed Russian women”, Andrew flew the coop with his ex-wife, Original Fergie, and (private) jetted off on a golfing holiday in southern Spain, where the only thing that’s appalling is his par. Well, that and the way his nipples show through his polo shirts.