Selena Gomez Is Back To Posting On Social Media After More “Possible Shade” Drama With Justin And Hailey Bieber
Justin Bieber, the Him?iest Him? to ever Him?, inexplicably (to me at least, my 9-year-old niece would argue differently) remains at the center of a subtle shade feud that’s been playing out on social media between his Wife?, Hailey Baldwin and his extremely successful ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez. A few weeks back, Selena announced that she was taking a break from social media, noting the obvious fact that she’s “30 and am too old for this.” And now that she’s 0.1125 years older and 1,000 years wiser, she’s back with a message to her fans to “please, please be kinder and consider other people’s mental health,” admitting that her “heart has been heavy.” Girl, same. Things just haven’t been the same since Tuna and Sushi disappeared.
I think we can now safely call Drake a “confirmed bachelor” without anybody getting bent out of shape about the historical implications of that designation since Drake himself is the one going out of his way to remind us that nobody is ever gonna wanna marry Him? Page Six reports that Drake has teamed up with custom jewelry designer to the stars and probable inspiration for Adam Sandler’s character in Uncut Gems, Alex Moss, to create a necklace called “Previous Engagements,” which is made from 42 enormous diamonds that weren’t big enough to fill the gaping hole in his heart, or, sadder yet, even get a stripper to bite.
Pour one out for Fran Drescher because if anybody’s legacy is going to be tarnished by the Don’t Worry Darling Disaster of 2022, it’s Fran who has lost the distinction of being the most loquacious professional child care provider of the modern era. Even worse, nowadays, when someone mentions “the nanny” in passing, they’re gonna have to be more specific- like are we walking about the show or Olivia Wilde and Jason Sedeikis’ nanny because either way, yeah, quite a mouth on her, eh? The Daily Mail published a third installment of their What Me Worry? interview with No, Not That The Nanny, who now claims that Florence Pugh hooked up with Harry Styles before Olivia did, and that is what really drove a wedge between Miss Flo and Miss Oh?. Mr. Him? could not be reached for comment.
The correct question to the answer “these two people were just announced as the permanent hosts of the beloved television quiz show Jeopardy!” is “Who are HIM?! and HER?!” As predicted, Jeopardy! executive producer Mike Richards has been named as Alex Trebek’s replacement, and fellow guest host Mayim Bialik will be hosting all of Jeopardy!’s primetime and spinoff series. Fan favorite LeVar Burton goes home with a lovely parting gift — walking away as a beloved icon with his dignity intact. Nobody could really replace Alex and you can’t get hit with rotten tomatoes if you exit stage left. And with this decision, people are already coming at Mike and Mayim and letting the fetid fruit fly!
What do a grizzled old un-cancellable anti-Semitic racist and a 20-year-old TikTok star who dances like a sedated toddler who has to pee have in common? Well, other than the obvious — inexplicable bologna breath — they both apparently worship Donald Trump! Blessedly we don’t always know where Donald Trump is at any given moment anymore like we did before he got evicted from both Twitter and The White House, but over the weekend he was in attendance at a UFC fight in Las Vegas. And Mel Gibson was there to greet him with a hale and hearty salute. Later, during the match, Addison Rae was filmed approaching Donald at his seat and introducing herself saying “I have to say hi, so nice to meet you.” Which, in turn, probably caused Donald’s alleged Mario Kart mushy to greet her with a hale and hearty salute.
I don’t know what it’s like in Malibu, but in my neck of the woods, “outside” is extremely unsexy at the moment, and running errands has become tantamount to LARPing The Walking Dead. So to see pictures of Norman Reedus out frolicking for the paparazzi with his girlfriend Diane Kruger during a global pandemic is unsettling, to say the least. Although, mostly still because, him?!?