The Ticketmaster verified fan pre-sale for Taylor Swift’s upcoming Eras tour has been more disastrous than her moves at the 2016 Met Gala, and it’s got the Swifties raging. They’re pissed over Ticketmaster’s crazy added fees, the scalpers getting tickets before them, and waiting for hours in the “online lounge” only for the site to crash. The Tennessee Attorney General is now investigating Live Nation, which merged with Ticketmaster in 2010, for monopolizing the concert ticket industry. Well, the Swifties are about to rage harder because Ticketmaster announced today that it’s canceling tomorrow’s general public sale for Tay Tay tickets “due to extraordinarily high demands on ticketing systems and insufficient remaining ticket inventory to meet that demand.” And it doesn’t look like the general public sale will be rescheduled. I feel your pain, Swifties. I’ve hated Ticketmaster ever since the 90s. That’s when I waited in line for Janet Jackson tickets at a Ticketmaster outlet inside of a department store for five hours, only to be told that the system went down and none of us would be getting tickets. Broke my little gay heart right there in the middle of a Robinsons-May. I will never forgive them for that! – Deadline

Quentin Tarantino shared what he thinks is his best movie. Is it Pulp Fiction? No. Reservoir Dogs? Nuh-huh. It’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I see that Margot Robbie’s feets really have a hold on QT. He also said that the current era of movies is threeway tied with the ’80s and ’50s as the worst in history. Yes, trick said, “the ’80s” was one of the worst times for movies. Huffing hooves must mess with your brains because how can QT shit on a cinematic era that gifted us with masterpieces like Maid to Order, Once Bitten, and Xanadu?! – Variety

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Queer Eye’s Antoni Porowski is officially off the market. Today he took to Instagram to share the big news that he and brand strategy director Kevin Harrington are engaged! Congratulations, you two! Unless this is all a big lie to sell “gourmet pet food mix-ins and functional toppers”, a la Antoni and Jonathan Van Ness’ fake relationship stunt from a couple of months ago. I don’t know what to believe anymore…

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It’s hard to believe that people, MYSELF INCLUDED, thought that the reign of King Charles III would be a flop. So it is with much humility and shame that I must commend him for the fortitude and bravery with which he has faced his toughest challenges as a monarch since outing himself as a feminine hygiene fetishist. From being portrayed by an egregiously more handsome man on The Crown, to ducking eggs like a nebbish third grader who inadvertently wandered into the middle of a dodgeball game, Chuckie Trips has handled himself with aplomb and barely even got ink in his mouth that one time he used that leaky pen. So I am now convinced that there is no storm that King Charles III can’t weather, and that includes Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Netflix documentary series being released in time for Christmas, instead of next year as they reportedly wanted. Even if, as The Sun reports, Harry and Megan weren’t able to make the final changes they wanted to soften the blow in the wake of THE QUEEN’s passing. Now Charles, like Harry, Meghan and the rest of us, are just going to have to suck it up and raw-dog the truth. Consequences be damned!

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I don’t know why it happened, I don’t know how it happened. Similarly, I don’t know what it’s for, and I don’t know who it’s for. Nor do I know when it happened, or, after having watched the trailer, IF it actually happened at all. By my count, no fewer than seven CGI Guy Fieri’s are featured here. Variety has attempted to outline a few of the basic facts related to 80 for Brady, a movie starring four of Hollywood’s most iconic actresses as obsessed Tom Brady fans who “travel to the 2017 Super Bowl to see Brady on the field,” but unfortunately, their reporting has left me with more questions than answers. The only thing I’m 100% sure about in regards to 80 for Brady, produced by and starring Tom as himself, and Tom’s work wife, Rob Gronkowski, as the inspiration for one of the ladies’ “Gronk erotica,” is that Gisele Bundchen’s jiu-jitsu instructor is definitely getting pinned tonight.

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For those of us who refuse to wear clothes with an uncompromising waistband or leave the house past 8 p.m., we look to the TV on New Year’s Eve to watch other, more ambitious fun-havers crammed into the confines of Times Square clad in coats, hats, and adult diapers who’ve stood in the cold for 16 hours in anticipation of a few underwhelming musical guests followed by ten whole seconds of excitement. CNN’s NYE coverage has become the staple for people who love mess and don’t want to sit through Ryan Seacrest and his “group of losers;” with the master of lighting a match and walking away, Andy Cohen, getting lit with his incessantly giggly bestie, Anderson Cooper, while Don Lemon and other correspondents assist in the chaos. Last year, Andy got so rip-roaring ranty and wasted that it was rumored CNN cut him loose. But they didn’t, and he and Anderson will be back this year to host the festivities. And even though CNN says they’ve decided they’re banning booze for the correspondents involved in the coverage, Andy wants everyone to know the new rule doesn’t apply to him or Anderson, so we should expect them to be next-level hammered.

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