Jane Fonda is BUSY. And I’m not talking about the press tours she’s been doing for her new film Book Club: The Next Chapter or the recent blitz for 80 for Brady. Having been invited to the prestigious Cannes Film Festival, Jane decided it was high time to bring some drama to France. Not only did she spill the tea regarding some of her very famous co-stars, but she also showed off her throwing arm by chucking a Palme d’Or scroll at a winner during the ceremony! I guess you stop giving a damn about everything once you hit 80.
Jane Fonda Says That Jennifer Lopez Still Hasn’t Apologized To Her For Accidentally Cutting Her Eyebrow While Filming “Monster-In-Law”
Back in 2005, the criticality-watched film Monster-in-Law blessed the movie-going public by putting two titans of acting on the same screen: Jane Fonda and Elaine Stritch. However, they were only in like two scenes together. The rest of the time, you were subjected to Anaconda’s Jennifer Lopez. If you thought sitting through a JLo joint for $12.50 (adjusted for inflation) was a struggle, at least you didn’t get a diamond-encrusted slap in the face for your troubles! According to Jane, during the famous slap scene, Jenny was being a little too real and ended up giving her a cut on her million-dollar face. Worse yet, the Superbowl singer never apologized for it!
Here’s The Final Cut Of “Gotta Be You” From “80 For Brady” Feat. Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan And Their Kid Sister Belinda Carlisle
Dolly Parton famously wrote I Will Always Love You and Jolene on the same night, so it should be no surprise that she was able to squirt out a dribbly little ditty as a favor to a couple of old friends in less time than it takes her to remove her false eyelashes at the end of the day. When Dolly’s homegirls Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin found themselves in a bind, having agreed to go against God’s Plan by signing up for starring roles in Tom Brady’s mid-post-post-career vanity project, 80 for Brady, alongside Sally Field and Rita Moreno, and needed help, Dolly was right there to lend a hand. And Dolly’s no Rose from Titanic! Her door is as wide as it is strong, and it’s always open to a friend in need. Dolly secured her rings and baubles and such before reaching her hand down into the frigid, inky-black depths of Tom’s ego and pulled her girls to safety. She then got her little orange emergency whistle out and started looking for other innocent souls at risk of drowning in Tom’s insatiable abyss. As dawn arose on that fateful night, Dolly’s door was teeming with refugees from the floating wreckage of Tom’s post-divorce career.
I just knew Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda were gonna try to pull Dolly Parton into this mess! And here we are. Consequences of Sound reports that Dolly’s going to contribute to a song on the soundtrack for 80 for Brady, that CTE inducing movie produced by Tom Brady, starring Dolly’s old 9 to 5 crew of working stiffs plus Rita Moreno and Sally Field pretending they’ve never seen an Oscars podium before. But if anybody’s going to save that drek from complete and utter dreckitude, it’s Dolly. Shit, she saved the Mexican Pizza AND New Year’s Eve. So she should have no problem saving her girls from making absolute fools of themselves. But Harry Hamlin’s on his own!
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For Tom Brady’s Passion Project “80 For Brady” AKA The Passion Of The Yikes
I don’t know why it happened, I don’t know how it happened. Similarly, I don’t know what it’s for, and I don’t know who it’s for. Nor do I know when it happened, or, after having watched the trailer, IF it actually happened at all. By my count, no fewer than seven CGI Guy Fieri’s are featured here. Variety has attempted to outline a few of the basic facts related to 80 for Brady, a movie starring four of Hollywood’s most iconic actresses as obsessed Tom Brady fans who “travel to the 2017 Super Bowl to see Brady on the field,” but unfortunately, their reporting has left me with more questions than answers. The only thing I’m 100% sure about in regards to 80 for Brady, produced by and starring Tom as himself, and Tom’s work wife, Rob Gronkowski, as the inspiration for one of the ladies’ “Gronk erotica,” is that Gisele Bundchen’s jiu-jitsu instructor is definitely getting pinned tonight.
Jane Fonda wears many chic hats: social and environmental activist, award-winning actress, fitness guru, and expert Megyn Kelly agitator (which is my favorite recurring role of hers). And at 85, she also happens to be part of a small handful of older actresses in Hollywood who still get work and then in turn have to promote it; so she’s often asked about aging and has talked about her various plastic surgeries (and that she’s DONE with them) to the point of getting annoyed about being asked about it (right, Megyn!?). But recently, she discussed it again in a feature with VOGUE–because it seems like once a woman reaches a certain age, their only two options are to stoically walk into the ocean and die OR constantly have to discuss the trials and tribulations of being said age.