Chris Rock Will Finally Talk About Will Smith And The Oscars Slap In His New Netflix Special
After laying down numerous jokes about Will Smith’s glorified roommate Jada Pinkett Smith, Chris Rock got slapped by Will so hard it took him a whole year to retaliate. The New York Post says that now Chris is back and ready to live out his Carrie revenge fantasy with his new live and unedited Netflix special called Selective Outrage, which comes out this weekend. After all the countless commentaries, apologies, memes, and Red Table Talks, Chris is ready to use the slap for jokes for his Netflix special. Well, he did tell us that he wouldn’t talk about the slap unless he got paid.
Pretend “You” Serial Killer Pen Badgely Blames Netflix For Fueling Serial Killer Fandom
It seems like lately, a lot of these actors out here are taking the job of play-acting a little too seriously. Penn Badgley, for example, has been wringing his pretend stabbing hands about the ethics of playing a serial killer on the Netflix You since the beginning. It’s like, sir, your name is Penn Badgley; we’re not taking anything you do seriously! Nevertheless, Penn would like to remind us, for the umpteenth time, that he doesn’t think serial killers should be attractive, not even pretend ones with bedroom eyes and an unruly womb-groomer, and that there’s something really wrong with You, you, and “you” if you don’t agree.
Helena Bonham Carter Thinks Netflix Should Abdicate “The Crown” Immediately
I guess Helena Bonham Carter hasn’t severed the psychic link between herself and Princess Margaret yet because Mags has got a message to share from BEYOND THE ROYAL VAULT (graves are for peasants, you fools!). She’s using everyone’s formerly favorite kooky aunt to deliver it. According to Variety, HBC sat down with The Guardian, and while she wisely declined to “contribute to the whole thing” surrounding Prince Harry’s memoir Spare, Princess Margaret’s eyes, ears and legs on earth burped up a message to Netflix that they should end The Crown now because it is no longer a “historical drama.” Oh, wait! Now I’m receiving a message from Mags! Please hold…. Yes, yes, sorry, OK, yes, got it!
Netflix’s Password Sharing Crackdown Is Probably Coming In March
A couple of years ago, Netflix let everyone know that they were going to start to put an end to subscribers passing around passwords like a joint at a party. Then last year, Netflix said that they were going to start charging an extra fee to share a password with your auntie so she can binge Ginny & Georgia, but they never said when that change would go into effect. Well, looks like that change is now. Or in a couple of months, anyway. And this comes after they raised their prices last year, resulting in a mass exodus of people canceling their subscriptions using only their middle fingers. So I’m sure this will go down well.
Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga Doing The “Bloody Wednesday” Challenge On TikTok
The “Bloody Wednesday” challenge, where TikTokers attempt to recreate Jenna Ortega’s deadpan dance sequence from Netflix’s smash show, Wednesday, has been obnoxiously overrunning feeds for a bit now. Celebs and normies alike have been begging for someone, anyone to lie to them about how fun and great at dancing they are by half-heartedly attempting to hit the moves that Wednesday busted on the show to Goo Goo Muck by The Cramps. But a variation of the trend has people setting the choreography to Bloody Mary by Lady Gaga, so Mother Monster decided to give the challenge a try.
Nazis Uniforms And Racists And Puppy Filters, Oh My. Here’s What You Missed If You Missed “Volume I” Of “Harry & Meghan”
What? You didn’t have your alarm clock set for H8:AM GMT so you could live-tweet the Netflix debut of Volume I (the first three episodes) of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle‘s much-discussed six-part docuseries, Harry & Meghan, alongside Piers Fucking Morgan? No? Did you have something better to do? Well I did. Had something better to do, that is. But right after the elective, “all-natural” root canal appointment I booked with a “primitive dentist” I found on Craigslist, I fell/purposely walked into an open sewer and was, most, unfortunately, unable to participate. But I couldn’t miss out on hearing all the juicy details contained within Meghan and Harry’s “first-hand account” of “their story,” even if I wanted to. And I did. Want to miss out, that is. Alas, knowing more about the lady from Suits and that prince she married than I do about my own family is now “my story” to tell. And rest assured, it will be, to borrow a critique from Piers, a “nauseatingly self-serving narcissistic rehashed whine-a-thon.” I guarantee it.