Category: Rita Moreno
Here’s The Final Cut Of “Gotta Be You” From “80 For Brady” Feat. Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan And Their Kid Sister Belinda Carlisle
Dolly Parton famously wrote I Will Always Love You and Jolene on the same night, so it should be no surprise that she was able to squirt out a dribbly little ditty as a favor to a couple of old friends in less time than it takes her to remove her false eyelashes at the end of the day. When Dolly’s homegirls Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin found themselves in a bind, having agreed to go against God’s Plan by signing up for starring roles in Tom Brady’s mid-post-post-career vanity project, 80 for Brady, alongside Sally Field and Rita Moreno, and needed help, Dolly was right there to lend a hand. And Dolly’s no Rose from Titanic! Her door is as wide as it is strong, and it’s always open to a friend in need. Dolly secured her rings and baubles and such before reaching her hand down into the frigid, inky-black depths of Tom’s ego and pulled her girls to safety. She then got her little orange emergency whistle out and started looking for other innocent souls at risk of drowning in Tom’s insatiable abyss. As dawn arose on that fateful night, Dolly’s door was teeming with refugees from the floating wreckage of Tom’s post-divorce career.
Open Post: Hosted By Dolly Parton Already Working On Making 2023 Better For Us All
I just knew Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda were gonna try to pull Dolly Parton into this mess! And here we are. Consequences of Sound reports that Dolly’s going to contribute to a song on the soundtrack for 80 for Brady, that CTE inducing movie produced by Tom Brady, starring Dolly’s old 9 to 5 crew of working stiffs plus Rita Moreno and Sally Field pretending they’ve never seen an Oscars podium before. But if anybody’s going to save that drek from complete and utter dreckitude, it’s Dolly. Shit, she saved the Mexican Pizza AND New Year’s Eve. So she should have no problem saving her girls from making absolute fools of themselves. But Harry Hamlin’s on his own!
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For Tom Brady’s Passion Project “80 For Brady” AKA The Passion Of The Yikes
I don’t know why it happened, I don’t know how it happened. Similarly, I don’t know what it’s for, and I don’t know who it’s for. Nor do I know when it happened, or, after having watched the trailer, IF it actually happened at all. By my count, no fewer than seven CGI Guy Fieri’s are featured here. Variety has attempted to outline a few of the basic facts related to 80 for Brady, a movie starring four of Hollywood’s most iconic actresses as obsessed Tom Brady fans who “travel to the 2017 Super Bowl to see Brady on the field,” but unfortunately, their reporting has left me with more questions than answers. The only thing I’m 100% sure about in regards to 80 for Brady, produced by and starring Tom as himself, and Tom’s work wife, Rob Gronkowski, as the inspiration for one of the ladies’ “Gronk erotica,” is that Gisele Bundchen’s jiu-jitsu instructor is definitely getting pinned tonight.
Rita Moreno Joins The Cast Of “Fast X” Playing Vin Diesel’s Grandmother
Congratulations! It’s an abuelita! The Fast Family just got a little bit bigger, as it seems to do every damn day (they use the rhythm method), with the addition of the one and only Rita Moreno who will be playing Vin Diesel’s grandmother in Fast X, the upcoming penultimate installment of the Fast and Furious franchise. Rita will be joining other franchise newborns Jason Mamoa, Brie Larson and The Transporter director Louis Leterrier who is replacing OG Fast director Justin Lin who bailed on Fast X after reportedly beefing with Vin. But if Vin thought bringing a sweet old lady like Rita into the fold would be without risk, he’s got another thing coming. Don’t FUCK with Rita. She cheated on Brando with Elvis for revenge. And it worked. She will bury anyone who crosses her. If Vin still has a single working brain cell, he better use it to have fresh flowers to be sent to Rita’s trailer every day because when the next Fast Feud comes, and it’s gonna come, he’s gonna want to have Rita in his corner.
Steven Spielberg’s “West Side Story” Is Getting Rave Reviews
Somebody please check on Lady Gaga because the critics are finally shouting A STAR IS BORN and it’s not because they just now got around to watching their screeners from three years ago. They are talking about Rachel Zegler who makes her big-screen debut as Maria in Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner’s remake of West Side Story which in early reviews is being heralded as “phenomenal” and a “triumph,” with outstanding performances by Rachel, Ariana DeBose as Anita and David Alvarez as Bernardo, that Ansel Elgort is also in. Finally, Martin Scorsese can stop asking who he has to blow to get some CINEMA up in this bitch! Turns out it was his old pal Spielberg all along.
Open Post: Hosted By The Teaser Trailer For Steven Spielberg’s “West Side Story”
I feel like we’ve been hearing about Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story adaptation for the better part of this millennium. After being pushed back a full year cuz of the pandemic, the movie is set to be released on December 10. And during last night’s Oscars, the trailer finally dropped! And this shit’s got it all: Ansel Elgort’s spectacularly punchable face, newcomer Rachel Zegler as Maria, lots of dancing, dance-fighting, 50s sets and costumes, the triumphant return of Rita Moreno, and Ansel Elgort’s spectacularly punchable face. Oh, did I repeat myself? Apologies. It’s just so… dang… punchable. I have to keep taking breaks from writing because my hands are involuntarily curling up into fists! That is the power of Ansel. Continue reading