Category: Meghan Markle

Prince Harry And Duchess Meghan Are Getting Shit For Taking Another Private Jet Flight

August 18, 2019 / Posted by:

As The Daily Mail points out, Prince Harry and wife Duchess Meghan took a SECOND PRIVATE PLANE just TWO DAYS after their recent Ibiza getaway “despite their long-running support for environmental causes.” You would think these two brutally murdered Captain Planet and then went off to laughingly use vast quantities of aerosol hairspray on themselves.

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Billy Eichner Talked About How Beyoncé Was “Nervous” To Meet The Royals

July 19, 2019 / Posted by:

Billy Eichner voices Timon in the all-CGI The Lion King movie which my friend is seeing three times this weekend, so that should tell you everything you need to know about her sex life. During the London premiere of the movie, the stars got the chance to meet Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan. Well guess what, Billy claims Beyoncé got nervous meeting them! Have fun hearing from The Beygency, Billy, because they’re definitely going to wake you up in the middle of the night and drag you down to their headquarters to ask you how you’d like to be punished for breaking your NDA! Ask, Tiffany Haddish!

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Duchess Meghan’s Friend Says She’ll Be A “Strict” Mom

May 20, 2019 / Posted by:

Us Weekly reports that Duchess Meghan is really serious about this whole “normal mom” thing she’s got planned. It’s been reported for a while that the Duchess of Sussex and Price Harry are going to raise their new son Archie as a commoner. They want to raise their son away from the drama and conflama of being a royal and instead have him live the extremely regular life of your average extremely wealthy person who doesn’t deal with media scrutiny. Well now we’re getting more factoids being spread in the media coming from some people close to the Duchess all about how she’s going to be a normal, strict mom.

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Duchess Meghan And Price Harry Want To Keep Baby Archie A Private Citizen And Want To Keep Birth Certificate Private As Well

May 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry must not know that the best way to keep people interested in something is to restrict their access to it, because they are trying very hard to keep this new royal baby, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a secret. They are going to some serious lengths and I feel like it just makes more paparazzi come sniffing around.

First, she wasn’t planning on giving birth at the hospital. Then they weren’t going to do the standard hoe-stroll once that baby was freshly wiped down of gestational fluid and Meghan had some lipgloss on. And then they didn’t even give him a royal title. Instead they have been keeping this baby on the DL, apart from a few staged photos for posterity, I guess. Well expect to see even less of this kid, as it’s being reported that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex plan on keeping Archie a private citizen forever.

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One Theory Is That Duchess Meghan And Prince Harry Didn’t Give Baby Archie A Title So He Can Be “Ordinary”

May 10, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s being reported that the reason Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry chose not to give their new baby, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a title isn’t because he already has a bunch of names and doesn’t need more. It’s because they want him to grow up and be an “ordinary” person. Look at them wanting to be “normal.” Well bitch, “normal” is struggling to pay bills! That’s what you want?!

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Duchess Meghan And Prince Harry Will Not Be Showing Off Their Baby In A Traditional Royal Photo-Op

April 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Duchess Meghan and Prince Harry are not going to feed into your strange desire to see their newborn baby three seconds after the kid is pulled out of her. It was reported that Meghan was thinking about having a home birth and it looks like that’s happening. It’s also been confirmed that you will all just have to wait to see what that scrunched up, crying, lump of person looks like after it violently fights against leaving the comfort of Meghan’s womb. Because once she gives birth, Meghan has no intention of getting into hair and makeup and parading the newborn in front of you.

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