I don’t play video games so I don’t really know what Lara Croft’s deal is supposed to be. I did see the first movie with Angelina Jolie and it was fun to watch a female lead be a swashbuckling adventurer who seemed to give few if any fucks. Now I’ve just watched the newest trailer for the new reboot simply called Tomb Raider starring Alicia Vikander and I’m spitting mad for no good reason. In #thesetryingtimes, you’d think I’d have something better to get worked up about. Yet, here we are.
Over the weekend, the Spanish coastguard got reports of an albino Loch Ness Monster in the Mediterranean Sea, and that could mean only one of two things. Jon Hamm was swimming in the Mediterranean Sea this past weekend, or Michael Fassbender was. It was the second one, but Assbender wasn’t only in Ibiza to take his white crotch Nessie for a dip in the sea, he was also there to become a husband for the first time.
Warner Bros. dropped the first official trailer for Tomb Raider, and we finally got to see Alicia Vikander as Lara Croft in action. Yup, there she is, raidin’ tombs and poppin’ nerd boners. The legacy of Lara Croft lives on!
It’s a sad day for size queens; Michael Fassbender may be taking his notable member off the table for good. According to The Sun UK, Michael and his on again/off again lady friend Alicia Vikander are planning a secret wedding in Ibiza, the Cabo Wabo During Spring Break of Europe.
We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that.
During last night’s Oscars, Dakota Johnson presented with her Fifty Shades Duller co-star Jamie Dornan, and they did a hilarious bit where they pretended to have chemistry with each other. Clearly Dakota was afraid all the crotch-searing sexuality between her and Jamie would be too much for the audience to handle, and she dressed accordingly. And by accordingly, I mean she counter-balanced it by dressing in an unsexy satin nightgown situation that was made by Gucci.