Category: Secret Wedding
There’s A Rumor That 80-Year-Old Billionaire David Geffen Married A 30-Year-Old Model Over The Weekend

David Geffen is very rich, bitch. Forbes says the media mogul, who founded three major record labels and the film studio Dreamworks, is worth around $7.7 billion, making him one of the wealthiest people in entertainment. And now, after 80 years as an unmarried man, the blog Showbiz44 says there’s a rumor that David finally got hitched. His maybe-groom is 30-year-old model Donovan Michaels. A hunky young boy-toy and a billionaire in his twilight years? Sounds like a perfect match to me…
Portia de Rossi Surprised Wife Ellen DeGeneres With A Vow Renewal Ceremony Officiated By Kris Jenner

What do you get for the couple who already have everything? That was the question that was surely dogging the minds of those who arrived at Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi’s house thinking they were going to a birthday party, when in fact, it was a surprise vow renewal ceremony officiated by Kris Jenner. Imagine showing up with a cute little birthday card and some flowers for Portia’s 50th only to find out you’re at a fucking wedding and somebody already got them Brandi Carlisle. And you know damn well that Kris keeps Kenny G on retainer, so that’s out. And there’s no way Ellen isn’t keeping track of who brought what and how much it cost even though she also thought it was just a birthday party until Portia came waltzing into the … whatever you call the room in the castle where you keep your indentured troubadour, wearing “the gorgeous Zac Posen wedding dress from the couple’s 2008 nuptials.” Yes, it still fits!
Kanye West And His “Mystery Blonde” Are “Married”

Mystery blonde solved! And she’s not even a real blonde if you can believe it. Or a lawyer (but she might have had a hand in designing Kanye’s Yeezy phone; she helps out where she can). TMZ reports that the woman Kanye West has been spotted with at the Waldorf Astoria in L.A. is Bianca Censoria, a former Yeezy architectural designer from Austria Australia. And her ass looks just like Kim Kardashian’s (did a decade ago). Also, her face. Especially since she and Kim apparently share the same sadistic colorist. However, unlike Kim, Bianca thought it would be a good idea to marry Kanye West in this, The Year of Our Lord, 2023.
Britney Spears And Sam Asghari Have Set A Wedding Date, But Are Keeping It A Secret

Another detail of Britney Spears’ marriage to her longtime boyfriend Sam Asghari has been revealed, so get out your pens and hope journals if you’re the type of person who has been following along with this ever-evolving real-life fairy tale at home. Ever since Sam and Britney got engaged in September, we’ve learned that Sam would absolutely be signing a prenup, that Britney’s dress would be custom-made by Donatella Versace herself, and that the wedding may or may not feature Britney with a bridal lace-covered baby bump, depending on the timeline of when these two get hitched. We still don’t know the complete answer to that last wedding day clue, but Britney and Sam do! Because they have let it be known that they’ve officially set a date for this thing to go down.
Anna Faris And Her Man Michael Barrett Eloped At The Courthouse

Anna Faris, the blonde TV actress/podcaster who doesn’t totally cause you to sprain your eyeballs from excessive rolling (Yes, I’m talking about Kristen Bell), dropped the news on her podcast, Anna Faris Is Unqualified, that she got married again. Anna and her fiancé Michael Barrett had a little casual courthouse wedding in Washington State. I’m sure the courthouse officiant swooned out of their shoes when Anna said in her vows, “And I promise not to give you away on Twitter if you shit on the carpet or if my son sneezes around you.”
Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Got Married Over The July 4th Weekend

As it was foretold in the prophecy, 51-year-old Gwen Stefani and 45-year-old Blake Shelton got married. This wasn’t exactly a shock since Gwen and Blake reportedly got their marriage license last week, and she recently had a bridal shower. So this wedding was bound to happen, but what’s really a shock is that it happened without an army of turtles crashing it as an act of revenge against Blake Shelton for joking about killing one of their own.