Last night’s Golden Globes had it all; drama (thank you Winona Ryder), suspense (wondering if Kirk Douglas would live to the end of each sentence), intrigue (Is Susan Sarandon gonna start some shit?!) and most notably, Oprah bringing the house down. Let me rephrase, Oprah BURNT the house down.
Lord knows there’s a lot of scammers out there and Oprah Winfrey is the biggest of them all. She got us out here wearing Uggs, watching Dr. Phil and reading The Secret. Oprah’s probably scammed more people into buying stupid crap than Bernie Madoff, Charles Ponzi and all the princes of Nigeria combined. But most of Oprah’s scams are on the up and up. If you really want to waste your money on Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations by Oprah Winfrey, you’ve only got yourself to blame.
It should be clear by now that if anybody is living their best life, it’s best life living encourager Oprah Winfrey. In a recent Vogue interview, Oprah revealed she is living every lotto players dream life by giving two big ole middle fingers in the air to every hooker that has ever tried to keep her down. Those hookers include The Man (obvs), the Industry (I’ll make my own then, dammit), Scarlett O’hara (Tara ain’t got shit on Oprah’s “Promised Land” estate), Chucky the killer doll (which beat Beloved at the box office) and ratched bathtubs. That last one may contain the the hidden key to everyone’s favorite speculation (aside from does she scissor Gayle): Why Oprah never married Stedman Graham.
A few days ago it was announced that Oprah Winfrey had lost over 40 pounds on Weight Watchers. Not only is she a client, she’s a shareholding board member, too! Oprah could attach her name to just about anything and watch the bucks roll into her bank account, so this meant that the Weight Watchers stock went way up on Thursday following the announcement.
Entertainment Tonight caught up with our actual ruler and asked the question that’s on everybody’s minds post-Trump winning the POTUS job – “How does Oprah Winfrey feel?”