Category: Sad Drunks Rejoice

Open Post: Hosted By Barefoot And Oreo’s New “Cookie-Inspired” Wine

December 8, 2021 / Posted by:

Oreos and wine? Sure, but only if you pair them correctly. You don’t have to be a world-class oenologist to know that when it comes to wine pairings, the food chosen to pair with a particular vintage, should be informed by the terroir, as the French would say, where the grapes were grown. For example, let’s say your butler serves you a crisp, acidic 2016 Chenin blanc from the Loire Valley to have with your mid-day seafood tower, you are within your rights to slap that shit right out of their hand. It’s not cute, them playing in your face like that. You should be having a coastal wine, preferably something from the Bordeaux region. Any idiot knows this. Thankfully, Barefoot Wine has got it right. Food & Wine reports that Barefoot has teamed up with Oreo Thins to create a blend that not only reflects the microclimate of the windswept valley of Cookie Canyon, it also speaks to the fields of crèams that traverse the marshmallow hills of Candy Land-upon-Hasbro (™).

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CBS Will Air An Adele Concert Special And Oprah Interview Ahead Of The Release Of “30”

October 18, 2021 / Posted by:

After having been through a divorce, I think a lot of people are counting on Adele to make them feel something, anything, other than the abject terror and grief that’s marked the past couple of years. At this point, a little good old-fashioned conventional heartbreak comes as a relief. And Adele is poised to deliver with her latest album 30, the first single of which, Easy on Me, is already being practiced by sad drunks in the mirror who are ready to absolutely kill it the minute karaoke comes back. And by “kill it” I mean send everybody in the joint who came for a good time to the bathroom and then to the bar to get another drink. In the meantime, the sad drunks can get their fix with an upcoming prime-time concert special and exclusive interview with Oprah Winfrey. So sad drunks rejoice! Shit’s about to get melancholic as fuck.

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