Gayle King turned 67 over the holidays. To celebrate the occasion, bestie Oprah and her live-in fleet of culinary experts prepared a special Bananas Foster cake for the birthday girl. But two full weeks later, the leftover cake continued to exist in Oprah’s fridge. Watching her. Taunting her. Plotting her demise? “Eat me, Oprah. Put me insiiide youuu.” Yesterday Oprah said “ENOUGH!” and pulled a Miranda Hobbes: she chucked that wretched cake in the garbage. Continue reading
People reports that the cake drama keeps rolling. Last time it was the Moana/Marijuana mix-up that kept us amused at the everyday ridiculousness of life. But today we take it a step further. Here is the cake which is calling a two-year-old girl a “Loser.” I love a bitchy cake that looks like it was made by Regina George, but the truth is that most two-year-olds aren’t losers. They don’t have to pay bills. They get chauffeured around everywhere. And they get free cake (even “Loser” cake). They’re winning!
I’m making the exact same confused stoner face trying to figure out what in Ice House Hell I’m supposed to be looking at (I want to say “cupcakes”, but I feel like the correct answer is “a representation of the feeling of a crippling meth addiction”).
Billy Bob Thornton appeared on a recent episode of Oprah’s Master Class, and for whatever reason, he whipped out a sharpened french fried potater and went for the jugular of the Food Network show Cupcake Wars. Of all the truly disgusting mind-numbingly bad reality shows he could have hissed at, he picked the one about people trying to make small cakes. HOW MUCH IS PIMP MAMA KRIS PAYING YOU, BILLY BOB??
“We don’t need one show about cupcakes, as far as I’m concerned. But you know what, if you’ve got one, okay, that’s fine, let’s have a show about cupcakes. But does it have to be a fucking competition? Do you have to have Cupcake Wars? And I’m sure people who have been in war kind of take offense to that. Because seriously, it’s not that goddamn dangerous to make a cupcake.”
Damn, shots fired! Welcome to 2014’s newest feud, starring the dude who used to be a dragon tattoo on Angelina Jolie’s shoulder vs. a low-budget baking reality show who’s main viewership comes from owners who left the TV on so their cats wouldn’t get lonely. Who will win?!? It’s tough to say, but right now my money is on a re-run of Unwrapped.
Meanwhile, Guy Fieri just popped a bottle of sparkling donkey sauce to celebrate that there’s someone out there who doesn’t consider him to be the dumbest, most useless thing on the Food Network.
via E! News