Choices, choices, choices! When did there get to be so many choices? Earlier this month at the People’s Choice Awards, the People had their say and chose Mariska Hargitay to get upstaged by Kathy Hilton and Olivia Wilde’s nipples. And now it’s time for the Critics to nominate their choices for future choosing at the 2023 Critics Choice Awards. And maybe because the Critics are canonically more critical than the People, they’ve chosen Everything Everywhere All at Once over Olivia’s nipples, which along with Don’t Worry Darling, were left out of the choices for future choosing altogether. Why, in my day, three white men with cigars in a secret Hollywood backroom made all the choices over the flayed body of a virgin sacrifice, but nowadays, it seems, everybody gets to choose!
Black History Month just got a little Blacker and more historical with the cast announcement for the upcoming Oprah Winfrey-produced movie musical The Color Purple which is based on the hit Broadway musical which was based on Steven Spielberg’s Quincy Jones produced-and-scored 1985 movie which was based on Alice Walker’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1982 novel. Of course, soon-to-be household name Oprah co-starred in the movie playing Sofia and now, almost 40 years later, she’s calling Danielle Brooks on the phone and yelling “Sofia, So-FEEE-AAHHHHH!! It’s your day!” Then she probably called up Fantasia, Colman Domingo, Taraji P. Henson, Halle Bailey, Corey Hawkins, and H.E.R. and was all “And YOU GET PART and YOU GET A PART and YOU GET A PART!!!” because they did, they all got parts.
Steven Spielberg’s “West Side Story” Didn’t Do So Well At The Box Office And People Are Blaming Ansel Elgort
No film franchise is safe from Hollywood’s obsession with remakes and reboots, not even top-tier musicals like West Side Story. After long delays and early reviews calling it a “TRIUMPH” and “PHENOMENAL,” Steven Spielberg’s take on WSS hit theaters on Friday… and it tanked, earning only around $10 million so far. For comparative purposes, its production budget was $100 million. Yikes. Spielberg and co. may have to let the Jets and Sharks loose on the streets to bully moviegoers into seeing the new WSS! Can you imagine being threatened by jazz hands when you’re just trying to buy tickets to see Encanto?
Somebody please check on Lady Gaga because the critics are finally shouting A STAR IS BORN and it’s not because they just now got around to watching their screeners from three years ago. They are talking about Rachel Zegler who makes her big-screen debut as Maria in Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner’s remake of West Side Story which in early reviews is being heralded as “phenomenal” and a “triumph,” with outstanding performances by Rachel, Ariana DeBose as Anita and David Alvarez as Bernardo, that Ansel Elgort is also in. Finally, Martin Scorsese can stop asking who he has to blow to get some CINEMA up in this bitch! Turns out it was his old pal Spielberg all along.
Tori Spelling. Scott Eastwood. Chet Hanks. Luminaries all, to name but a few. And for every Viola Davis or Sir Anthony Hopkins, there’s an equally gifted entertainer who had to work just a little bit harder to overcome the stigma of nepotism. Or so says Julia Roberts’ Niece (I presume). Film critic Franklin Leonard got the conversation about nepotism in Hollywood popping on Twitter this week when he posted and commented on a press release for a new short film directed by Steven Spielberg’s daughter Destry Spielberg, written by Stephen King’s son Owen King and starring the jewel in the crown of the Robin Wright/Sean Penn Family Players Hopper Penn. Franklin responded to the press release with, “Hollywood’s a meritocracy, right?” And Ben Stiller didn’t think that was very cool.
I feel like we’ve been hearing about Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story adaptation for the better part of this millennium. After being pushed back a full year cuz of the pandemic, the movie is set to be released on December 10. And during last night’s Oscars, the trailer finally dropped! And this shit’s got it all: Ansel Elgort’s spectacularly punchable face, newcomer Rachel Zegler as Maria, lots of dancing, dance-fighting, 50s sets and costumes, the triumphant return of Rita Moreno, and Ansel Elgort’s spectacularly punchable face. Oh, did I repeat myself? Apologies. It’s just so… dang… punchable. I have to keep taking breaks from writing because my hands are involuntarily curling up into fists! That is the power of Ansel. Continue reading