Category: Florida

Open Post: Hosted By The Seven Persian Cats With A Six-Figure Inheritance

June 29, 2023 / Posted by:

Attention fancy cat lovers of Florida! 7 Persian kitties are up for adoption at the Humane Society of Tampa Bay. I know what you’re thinking… you want one, but you’re hesitant because purebred pussy’s pricey. The vet bills, the grooming, and the costly breed-specific food. I get it; I owned a Persian. She was an XXPEN$IVE princess! But these cats are unique because they come with a built-in fortune. WFLA reports that their late owner, Nancy Sauer, left them a $300,000 inheritance when she passed away last November. That’s almost $43,000 per puss! Sigh. Yet another reason to be jealous of cats.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Chill Attitude Of A Florida Man Who Had His Arm Ripped Off By An Alligator

May 24, 2023 / Posted by:

With all of the bad shit happening in Florida–pretty much all due to asshole supreme, Governor Ron DeSantis–lurking alligators seem like one of the state’s least horrifying attributes these days, which could be why one Florida man who fell into a pond and had his arm bitten off by one doesn’t seem to be that bothered by it.

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Dwyane Wade Moved His Family Out Of Florida Due To Its Anti-LGBTQ Agenda

April 27, 2023 / Posted by:

Dwyane Wade spent years as a Florida mainstay, killing it on the court with the Miami Heat before retiring back in 2019. Now, he spends his time killing it as a supportive dad and advocate for his daughter, Zaya, who is transgender. But, ever since Ron DeSantis was elected governor, Florida has become a place where Disney magic and LGBTQ+ rights have come under fire. Because of this, Dwyane, his (literally cockblocking, but gorgeous) wife Gabrielle Union, and their five kids have taken their ball and gone home–to a different state.

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Disney Pulled A Fast One On Florida Governor Ron DeSantis With A Clause That Involves King Charles III

March 30, 2023 / Posted by:

As a grand jury voted to indict Donald Trump today, his GOP nemesis, Florida governor Ron De Santis is still fighting Mickey Mouse. Last month, Ron De Santis held a big press conference to rub his decision to penalize Disney for mildly opposing his so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill right in the nose of their gayest character, Mr. Busy the Beaver from Lady and The Tramp. But if it seemed like Disney was being awfully blase about Ron stripping them of power over the Reedy Creek Improvement District, which they’d had almost complete jurisdiction over for 50-plus years, there was a very good reason for it. According to The Guardian, Disney had an ace up their sleeve the whole time. In the days leading up to Ron’s preening announcement that there was “a new sheriff in town,” Disney and the existing Reedy Creek Governing board had quietly added a clause in their agreement that called upon a higher power; King Charles III, AKA Him? Royal Highness Charles the third, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, AKA Chucky Trips.

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Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Signed A Bill Punishing Disney For Opposing His So-Called “Don’t Say Gay” Agenda

February 28, 2023 / Posted by:

Mickey Mouse better finds himself a little dick real quick because, as Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced yesterday, “there’s a new sheriff in town,” and given what we know about Ron’s particular preoccupations, genital checks are not off the table. According to CNN, old Ronnie pecker-checker gave what amounted to a stump speech (he wishes, probably more like a snapped-off twig nubbin) while signing a bill into law that would give the state of Florida control over the Reedy Creek Improvement District, which had previously been under Disney’s control “for more than half a century.” To give you an idea of just how long that is, Disney had dominion over the area since the days when they produced original IP!

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There’s A Scandal Involving A Racist Lesbian Emu Farmer From Florida

October 26, 2022 / Posted by:

If you enjoyed linewives vs. bucket bunnies, the rancid Pink Sauce debacle, and the chess cheating scandal, this next story is for you! It’s got Avian bird flu, clout-chasing lesbian farmers, the N-word, and one extremely stressed-out emu named Emmanuel Todd Lopez. Now, I’ve heard bits and pieces of this story, but yesterday Jezebel published a helpful summary. Perfect! Let’s dive in, shall we? But first, a trigger warning: FLORIDA.

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