If you enjoyed linewives vs. bucket bunnies, the rancid Pink Sauce debacle, and the chess cheating scandal, this next story is for you! It’s got Avian bird flu, clout-chasing lesbian farmers, the N-word, and one extremely stressed-out emu named Emmanuel Todd Lopez. Now, I’ve heard bits and pieces of this story, but yesterday Jezebel published a helpful summary. Perfect! Let’s dive in, shall we? But first, a trigger warning: FLORIDA.
I tend to steer clear of anything that looks remotely close to being surrounded by out-of-control drunk wrecks because they do too much. And if you’ve ever been to Bourbon Street in New Orleans you understand my pain. And something I have never been aware of until today is an annual party forty miles west of Daytona, Florida called Mayhem at Lake George. Now, just based off of the name itself I would advise everyone to stay far away from this mess. But you know there are some people who will risk it all for subpar twerking and half-naked day drinking in the sun. I say, may the odds ever be in their favor because this was one time when an event 100% lived up to its name.
Today in FLORIDA, CNN reports that 42-year-old bride Danya Shea Svoboda and her caterer, 31-year-old Joycelyn Montrinice Bryant, have been arrested and charged after allegedly lacing their wedding food with cannabis. Oh, c’mon, what’s the big– wait, without the consent of the wedding guests? And a bunch of them got sick and thought they were going to die? OK, yeah, that’s pretty bad. You win again, McGruff the Crime Dog! Continue reading
A neighborhood in Florida has been overtaken by a bunch of lithe young intruders who are known for doing nothing but hanging out and screwing all day. It’s not spring breakers, it’s a bunch of bunnies! Since November, a brigade of rabbits has overtaken a neighborhood in Orlando and the residents are kinda pissed. At least the bunnies aren’t drinking rum buckets and blasting today’s top 40 from their rental cars!
Raven-Symone Was One Of The Hundreds Of Disney Employees Who Walked Out In Protest Of Disney’s Inaction Regarding Florida’s Don’t Say Gay Bill
Today, The Disney Corporation is finally having to face the “exclusively gay moment” that live-action Beauty and The Beast director Bill Condon promised us several years ago, only now, that gay moment has an LGBTQIA+ posse and allies, and is threatening to become a movement. According to Forbes, hundreds of Disney employees staged a walkout today in opposition to Disney’s handling of Florida’s so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill which “bars instruction on sexual orientation or gender identity in kindergarten through third grade,” and would allow parents to sue school districts for any perceived infractions. 75 employees walked out and protested in front of Disney’s studios in Burbank, California, and another 100 protested outside of the Disney Animation Studios Building, also in Burbank. And if you’re saying to yourself “That’s so Raven!,” you’re absolutely right, because Raven-Symone also mounted a protest with cast and crew members of her current Disney show, Raven’s Home, as well. This all spells bad news for Disney CEO Bob Chapek who probably thought he could just pray the gay away as if that shit wasn’t already baked into Disney’s DNA.
What lengths would you go to protect your pet? In the time it took you to respond, a Florida Man has already subdued a bear from attacking his pooches! While checking out his porch one evening, Daytona Beach resident Walter Hickcox spotted an animal of the ursine persuasion creeping onto his property. Walter leaped into action, scaring away the bear and saving his buddies. At last, a story of a Florida Man using his Florida powers for good!