Now For The Messy Fashion Of The Critics’ Choice Awards

Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.

Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.

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Angelina Jolie Decided To Fulfill Someone’s Feathered 60s Fantasy Last Night (And Other Looks From The Golden Globes)

Almost everyone who walked the Golden Globes red carpet this year wore black to protest Hollywood’s sexual misconduct problem. One thing that wasn’t being protested was good taste. There were a lot of black velvet outfits on that red carpet. Sure, it’s a bit of an obvious choice, but a choice I was absolutely here for, because anything that makes my brain start blasting “Black Velvet” by Alannah Myles gets two thumbs up from me.

But some people went a little more experimental with their all-black interpretation. Like Angelina Jolie, who showed up to the Golden Globes in some goth Lawrence Welk Show realness by Atelier Versace. It’s a little Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars, with a splash of 60s televangelist, all poured onto a fainting couch and garnished with, “But detective, I swear my husband was dead when I found him!”

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Open Post: Hosted By Future Oscar Winner Laurie Metcalf At The Palm Springs Film Festival

Actors hungry for that Oscar prepared for hustling season last night by Spanx-ing up their bodies, saying goodbye to real food for a couple of months and gargling with lemon-infused hot water so their voices are moistened up enough for them to talk, talk and talk about how much they suffered while playing the role they should win all the awards for. Of course I’m not lumping Laurie Metcalf with those actors. She doesn’t have to do all that shit, because she’s Laurie Fucking Metcalf and if she wants respect, all she has to do is say, “I played Aunt Jackie in Roseanne.”

Awards season officially started last night with the opening of The Palm Springs International Film Festival, where Jessica Chastain (Chairman’s Awards), everyone involved with The Shape of Water (Vanguard Award), Allison Janney (Spotlight Award), Gary Oldman (Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actor), Mary J. Blige (Breakthrough Performance Award), Holly Hunter (Career Achievement Award), Timothée Chalamet (Rising Star Award), Willem Dafoe (Icon Award) and more were honored.

Laurie Metcalf was there to honor her Lady Bird co-star Saoirse Ronan with the Desert Palm Achievement Award, Actress. We already knew this, but Aunt Jackie is a saint. I mean, she showed up to an award show to give someone else a trophy instead of getting one. A 20-year-old model is probably trapped under a passed out Leonardo DiCaprio right now, because he fainted over the thought of that.

Not only did Laurie Metcalf show up to honor someone else, but she brought the glamour too by wearing what a 90s Taco Bell would wear if it was turned into a human and became the leader of a new age cult.

Here’s more from last night, and you can stop after Suzanne Somers, because the star power and glamour does downhill from there.

Pics: Wenn.com

Mary J. Blige’s Ex Is Still Trying To Shake Her Down For More Money

After finally being free of her sorry ass excuse for a husband, Mary J. Blige is back to doing what she does best: Taking her pain and turning it into gold. Well ,now that greedy summabitch Kendu Isaacs is back looking for another handout and claiming that Mary has been exploiting their tumultuous relationship for financial gain.

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Mary J. Blige Is In Deep With The IRS

Finding out you’re going to owe taxes in any given year instead of receiving a nice return to spend on something silly (like rent!) is always a frowny day. Finding out you owe millions in taxes must be like that, except you might have to sell off a private jet or two.

Mary J. Blige was recently ordered to pay $30,000 a month in spousal support to her ex Kendu Issacs. The Daily Mail reports that her lawyers filed an Income and Expense Declaration in the LA courts in response. Mary claims that she owes “unpaid back taxes” from 2008 to 2016 in the amount of 6.5 million to Uncle Sam. Someone tell Kendu he needs to start looking for gigs on Craigslist because the government ALWAYS gets paid first. Continue reading

Mary J. Blige’s Ex Isn’t Getting As Much Spousal Support As He Wanted

Despite repeated requests for no more drama in her life, Mary J. Blige and her former manager/soon-to-be ex-husband Kendu Isaacs are still deep in the drama of a messy divorce. On the upside, she’s one step closer to her desired state of drama-free. TMZ says that Mary and Kendu have worked out a spousal support agreement.

When Mary filed for divorce about a year ago, she requested that Kendu be blocked from asking for spousal support. That request wasn’t approved, and Kendu went on to ask for almost $130,000 a month in spousal support. Kendu claimed he needed the money to maintain the lifestyle he got used to during their 13-year marriage. The court found Kendu was entitled to some money, but they also agreed that $130,000 request was pure insanity. A judge approved $30,000 a month for spousal support. Mary will also have to cut Kendu a check for $235,000 for retroactive spousal support dating back to September and his attorney fees.

Mary also got a little slap on the wrist in court. TMZ says that the court accused Mary and Kendu of living beyond their means during their marriage. That might explain how Mary ended up owing a few million dollars to the tax man several years ago.

Kendu getting only $30,000 has got to sting a little. He claimed he needed a lot of money for stuff like private chefs and personal trainers. But he can’t do that anymore on such a measly monthly stipend. He’s got to make some major spending changes, like not blowing hundreds of thousands on his mistresses. Any future girlfriends hoping to get jewelry and dinner out of Kendu better be prepared for Claire’s and a coupon special at Red Robin.

Pic: Wenn.com