If Taylor Swift was a normal person, you might look at this picture and assume it was taken as she was demanding to speak to the manager of an Anthropologie. But Taylor Swift is both famous and passive-aggressive, which means we’re looking at a picture of Taylor’s attempt at directing some lyrical aggression towards her current enemies, Scooter Braun and Big Machine.
Who cares about THE QUEEN possibly making Prince Charles bust the nut of all nuts from finally handing over her crown and powers to him in two years (and you know that when she does, she’s going to quickly yank ’em back before saying, “SIKE, motherfucker!“). And who also cares about Prince Andrew’s connection to the child-raping dumpster hybrid of Scott Bakula and ALF. The British tabloids are really bringing us the royal news we need to ingest into our brain in order to close our eyelids to sleep tonight.
The Daily Mail says that if you were a lesser at Wimbledon who dared to use your iPhone to take a picture of Duchess Meghan, you probably aren’t reading this since you’re sitting in a dungeon. Even though Wimbledon was broadcast to millions around the world and there were photographers everywhere, Meghan apparently wouldn’t let the peasants use their peasant cameras to take a picture of her royal greatness.
Johnny Depp is still battling it out with his ex-wife Amber Heard in a $50 million defamation lawsuit. According to The Blast, it’s not ending any time soon, because Johnny’s team plans to subpoena James Franco.
Lena Headey played a queen on the now-over Game of Thrones, (a show which did not end up with the winner shouting “Jenga!” or “Bingo!” like I had hoped). I’ve never seen GoT, but everything I know about it I learned from Shangela’s confessionals on RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars, and that seems like enough of a catch-up for me. But I do know who Cersei is; she’s the Queen who went from having long hair to short, and was played by Lena Headey. Lena may have been a perfect fit, because a rumor claims she’s much of a Queen off-screen as she is on. Whatever Lena wants, Lena gets. Like when she wanted to make sure her ex stayed as far away from her on set as possible.
Above is a pic from Easter service yesterday of Duchess Kate laughing at something that leaped out of Prince Hot Ginge’s mouth, and if you believe the reports, he’s saying to her, “Bitch, I see you got your nasty slut of a man covering his dick so it won’t wander into the pussy of one of your friends again!”, while she laughs like, “Bitch, shouldn’t you be at home helping your wife pack her ugly clothes since we’re about to banish both of your asses from OUR kingdom!”
There were reports that PHG and Prince William still hate each other, and didn’t speak at all during Easter service (Duchess Meghan wasn’t there since she’s due to birth out the royal ginger baby any day now). That may have been because Prince William and his minions are reportedly working on a plan to send PHG and Duchess Meghan far, far away because he’s jealous of their fame.
Prince Williams’ Lawyers Are Trying To Stop The Rumor That He Had An Affair With Duchess Kate’s Best Friend
Hey pathetic commoners, hold on to your fascinator, clutch those pearls, and clench the ruby butt plug! What started as a little royal spat between Duchess Kate and her (former) bff, Rose Hanbury, has morphed into a full blown royal mess that the royal lawyers have to try to clean up.